Shatter Me
by Macx
Summary: Chuck Hansen grew up to be the best damned Jaeger pilot to exist, eyes firmly on one goal: Drift with his pack alpha. At twenty-one he has one problem: Raleigh Becket, the dead weight, the has-been. The man who appears to be his mate and who doesn't acknowledge that fact at all, who ignores the soft twangs of the bond between them. The situation only gets worse. ShapeShifter AU
1. Chapter 1

Author's Note: After a massive, months-long writer's block that drove me up the walls I finally managed to jump-start the Muse again. This is what happened.

No apologies.

Not even about the length.

It's also a 'nearly-everyone-survives' kinda AU.

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

The Kaijus came into a world where humanity existed in two shapes: Shifters and Non. The Shifters made up about thirty percent of the population. They were everywhere, in every society, in every country, on every continent.

Shifters were no different from the Nons. They had one genetic deviation, but generally speaking they were just as human.

But Shifters, aside from being born with an alternate form they changed into at will, had one thing that set them apart from the Nons: they could form life-bonds. It was a connection between two individuals, either completely platonic or with a sexual element, and it gave both of them a connection into the others mind that was unrivalled.

It only happened between Shifters, never between Nons, or Shifters and Nons.

Some cultures called those with a connection bonded. Others soulmates. A few said they were counterparts or companions. Nons liked to put a sweet, romantic aspect to it. Shifters didn't really think it had anything to do with romance.

In some Shifters it caused an empathic connection; in some a close-to telepathic one, allowing mind-to-mind communication. Mostly with pack-oriented ones.

The connections varied in strength. Science called them alpha or prime connections. Empathic ones were usually classified as beta or secondary.

Whatever science called it, it was natural.

It simply happened.

Not regularly. Not everyone had a destined mate. That was nothing but myth and legend and romantic tales of fiction. Some found a mate easier than others. Like wolves or whoever else formed packs. Science tried to explain it in the mentality of the thing, but was proven wrong too many times.

Sometimes packs only shared the pack bond and none of the members had a mate.

There was never a guarantee.

Not everyone had a mate.

Not everyone sought one, for one reason or another.

And like everything that could be connected, it could also be broken.

XOXOXO

The Kaijus weren't like anything the world had ever seen. They were huge. They were alien. They were the enemy.

They killed.

XOXOXO

Humanity responded with force.

Deadly force.

They killed their own to survive an alien attack.

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

When Chuck was born it was clear he was different. He was one of the pack, he was a strong beta, but he was… different.

Herc had known soon enough.

It wasn't some arcane knowledge or something in the way his son smelled to the powerful alpha wolf. It was the simple fact that little Charles Hansen shifted into a fluffy wolf pup one moment, then seamlessly into another form.

A wombat of all things.

Herc still remembered his own shock, his wife's exclamation of surprise, and her laughter when their son had gone back to wolf and finally human toddler.

So his son was a triple changer, a Shifter with more than one form. He was a wolf, like his father, and he was something else. He circled through forms native to his Australian home, all of them really canine, though he lingered briefly with the dingo shape, then his young brain latched onto something new.

It became a guessing game as to what he would try next.

XOXOXO

When his mother died, he chose his third form.

Chuck was twelve years old.

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

It was Caitlin Lightcap, a renowned researcher into the soul-bond between two matching Shifters, who created the concept of the Pons. A neural bridge between a machine and a human pilot.

Almost like a bond.

It was also she who saw the problem with one mind bearing such an incredible neural load. Bonded Shifters shared between their souls. Lightcap came up with a new concept where the Jaeger would be driven by two pilots connected in a neural handshake, synchronizing them.

Making them one.

Just like bonded Shifters.

XOXOXO

It took one of the first test pilots, Sergio D'Onofrio, having a seizure as he attempted to control Yukon Brawler that the Drift came into play. Caitlin connected herself to the other mind, taking the weight of the neural load.

XOXOXO

In 2015, Yukon Brawler moved against Karloff and won.

Caitlin and Sergio executed the Drift flawlessly.

XOXOXO

Pilots were now selected according to compatibility.

It soon became clear that siblings, spouses and mated pairs would be the best.

XOXOXO

The Jaegers proved to be an effective weapon against the Kaiju threat. They were the only weapon, aside from more atomic bombs, and it soon showed that the Shifters were the perfect pilots.

Where one of them would be overwhelmed by the neural load, two of them easily shouldered the weight of such computing power.

Family was a strong bond. In humans, as well as in Shifters, but some Shifters were tighter than that. Some were of a pack mentality.

Like the wolves.

Herc and Scott Hansen. Timberwolves. Brothers. Pack. Perfectly in tune with each other.

Sasha and Alexis Kaidanovsky. Siberian wolves. Soulmates. Pack.

Trevor and Bruce Gage. Lions. Twins. Pride.

Cheung, Hu, Jin. The Wei Triplets. Brothers. Temple dogs. Pack.

Yancy and Raleigh Becket. Arctic wolves. Brothers. Family pack.

Pack was the key to the Drift. Humans could Drift with compatible humans, mostly family and/or very close ties, too. Those few who could Drift without either were far and few.

Stacker Pentecost was one of them. He and Tamsin Sevier were a perfect match.

He never brought anything into the Drift.

He was simply… there.

Like most humans he fell to the radiation poisoning his body, losing his co-pilot, losing his health.

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

The loss of Scott, not through a Kaiju or an injury, hurt the Hansen pack. Herc became more protective of his only child. He grew more intense.

He never told anyone what he had seen in the Drift with his brother that had made him reject the beta as his co-pilot; that had an alpha kick his beta out of the pack.

XOXOXO

Chuck grew up to be the best damned Jaeger pilot to exist, eyes firmly on one goal: Drift with his alpha.

At sixteen he had achieved what no one had thought possible.

Maybe it showed the desperation of the PPDC. Maybe it showed the end of the war coming soon. Maybe it was just a sign for something else.

At twenty-one he and his alpha had more kills under their belts than any other team.

Chuck was proud. Arrogant, egotistical, egocentric, and proud.

He had every right to be and he wouldn't bow demurely to anyone. He knew what they were capable of. He was a Jaeger pilot. He fought for this planet, risked his life, and they had the highest kill rate.

All of them, all pilots, were the last line of defense. If they fell, if their Jaeger fell, more people would die.

He knew who he was, what he could do.

He was Striker Eureka's pilot. The fastest Jaeger they had left, the only one of its line.

It was all he had ever known and all he would ever want to be: a Ranger.

XOXOXO

He was also the only one who knew what his father did about Scott Hansen.

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

Raleigh Becket was born into a large family. His parents – bonded -, an older brother, an older sister. Aunts and uncles and cousins all over Alaska, most of them dropping by Anchorage one holiday or another. He had a lot of friends. He knew about family and partner bonds.

Then his mother died.

The bond broke.

His father started drinking, feeling the loss of his life-partner, feeling the darkness claim him.

Finally he disappeared.

Raleigh was sixteen at the time.

Two years later he joined the Jaeger Academy, ready to fight Kaijus.

Apparently he and Yancy had something that was known as Drift compatibility to the general public. They were good in a Conn-Pod; they worked. They were completely in sync and kicked major ass in their battle simulations.

Gipsy Danger was assigned to them the moment they finished training.

It was a dream come true.

XOXOXO

Then Knifehead happened.

And Yancy was torn out of Raleigh's head mid-Drift.

It was like raw glass, biting into his soul, trying to tear him apart with the pain.

It left a gaping, black hole where his brother had been.

It left electrical burn scars on his skin.

The Ghost Drifts were painful. The nightmares even worse.

Raleigh had lost someone who had been so close in that very moment, almost like a soul bond between them, and the mess that was left couldn't heal.

The doctors didn't say it when he was released. The neurologist carefully tried to word it in a way that it wouldn't shatter him. The psychologist they had come visit him throughout his hospital stay was gentle and understanding.

Raleigh hated them all.

They didn't understand the loss, the pain, the death he had felt and which repeated itself over and over.

"You might never be able to bond," the psychologist had said in their last session before Raleigh had packed his bags, turned his back and disappeared. "The neurological overload left you with small scars that might make it impossible for the bond to become even a secondary connection."

So what? he thought. He didn't need a bond. He didn't need anything anymore.

His mother was dead. His father might be dead or alive. His sister had last talked to him before they had graduated. And now Yancy…

It hurt.

So very, very much.

It was a cold, lonely place that echoed with his teasing banter, the jibes, the warmth of his mind, the familiarity of it all. It was filled with the last thoughts, the cry for help, the short, harsh, serrated edge of death.

XOXOXO

Raleigh tried to forget who and what he had been. He worked at the Walls wherever he was told to go.

Work distracted him.

And at night, when he came to rest, Yancy's Ghost was back.

He missed the Drift. He missed his brother. He missed part of himself.

XOXOXO

He might never be able to bond.

He didn't care.

He didn't want a soulmate. He could never be that person for someone else. He was broken.

He was damaged goods.

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

When Newton Geiszler was old enough to understand the concept of Shifters – at the early age of four - all he wanted to be was one of them.

Sure, his parents weren't Shifters; they were Nons. As were his grandparents. And probably also most of his ancestry. Newton still hoped for a fluke of genetic nature, that he would have a trigger inside him that gave him that special ability.

XOXOXO

Not everyone who had the ability came out bragging. Not everyone shifted on a daily basis. Some went through their whole lives with only immediate family and select few friends knowing about them.

Newton wanted to be one so badly it hurt sometimes. He had no preferences as to what he might become. He simply hoped to have the ability.

XOXOXO

When he turned five in January 1995 he hoped for a trigger to his genes, that he would spontaneously shift.

Nothing happened.

Newton kept on hoping.

XOXOXO

He read up on whatever he could his hands on. By the age of six he was a walking, talking expert on Shifters.

He hadn't shifted himself.

XOXOXO

Sometimes it took a while for a trigger.

XOXOXO

When he was twelve he still hadn't shown a single sign of being a Shifter.

And he hoped.

He never stopped.

XOXOXO

Not even when he was fifteen and older than many who might trigger.

XOXOXO

Not when he was admitted to MIT as one of the youngest students ever.

XOXOXO

He had to accept the facts someday, though. Newton had no idea when that happened to him, but it was sometime during the time he acquired six doctorates like it was nothing at all.

One of those doctorates was in genetics; for obvious reasons.

Another was in biology.

Researching Shifters had become his life.

XOXOXO

But then the Kaijus appeared.

The Breach was discovered.

Life changed.

XOXOXO

And Newton Geiszler met Dr. Hermann Gottlieb.

Hermann, a man who was so completely different from him, they shouldn't have been able to work together. And have ingenious results.

Hermann was a stickler for the rules.

Hermann had a stick up his ass the size of a Kaiju.

Hermann was a nitpicker.

And he thought math was the only real science.

They fought more often than not and still… something was there. It worked. They worked. They discovered more about Kaijus and the Breach than all the other scientists combined.

The Hong Kong Shatterdome might be quaking in its foundations whenever they had a row, but all that counted were results.

XOXOXO

They had results.

XOXOXO

He discovered that his colleague was what he had always wanted to be by accident.

After they had become more than just lab partners and research colleagues.

Newton was blown away by the slender form, the grace and wildness, the light in the canine eyes.

Dr. Hermann Gottlieb was a Shifter.

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

Raleigh's arrival at the Hong Kong Shatterdome was accompanied by gray skies, endless rain, and stormy seas. He was almost immediately wet, water clinging to his hair and streaking down his face. Pentecost moved him through the meet and greet, then ushered him into the Shatterdome.

It was like stepping over a threshold.

Something flittered through him, faint, like a sizzling spark of electricity, only to disappear again as quickly as it had come.

Huh.

Strange.

But then Pentecost introduced him to Hercules Hansen. He knew the older man, knew the alpha wolf, and it was truly an honor. He wasn't lying when he said that. Raleigh found himself reacting to the powerful presence like he hadn't in a long time.

It was curious.

He didn't really think about it all too much.

He also wasn't lying when he told Pentecost that they had tried to close the Breach before and had failed.

His words were met with a cryptic remark.

It was when he looked over to where Chuck Hansen was petting the dog, Max, and their eyes met that the tingling feeling turned into a constant whisper and Raleigh felt a bit nauseous.

Maybe he should take a rest after the long flight. He hadn't had much sleep lately.

Hansen didn't look ecstatic when he stared at him.

Actually, he looked almost hostile.

It didn't help that the man was also attractive, a small part of Raleigh's brain murmured. Interesting, too. Despite not knowing him from more than a look, he was interesting.

Resolutely he pushed the nausea away and followed Mako.

The feeling of something he had missed, something that had gone past him, stayed there. Like a memory he couldn't grasp.

XOXOXO

He was scarred and damaged and broken in places. There were shields around his soul, keeping him safe, isolated, away from the pain.

Raleigh wasn't aware how automatic they had become, how much he protected himself against everything and everyone.

How his life had gone on hold after Yancy's death.

He didn't know.

He couldn't bond anyway.

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

Chuck had to admit that Becket was good. For someone who hadn't stepped inside a Conn-Pod for a very long time he was in really good shape, not an ounce of fat, all muscles, and he was fast.

Standing with the crowd of spectators, watching him spar with potential candidates, something stirred inside him. His eyes followed the quick moves, the dance moves, the controlled strength. He felt a pull. It was too intense to be casual and he bit back a snarl.

It had been there since he had first laid eyes on the new-arrival, Pentecost's answer to the question who would pilot the resurrected antiquity that was Gipsy.

Raleigh Becket.

Tall, blond, handsome. Well, as far as one had been able to tell underneath the grime and the tousled hair and baggy clothes. The man had looked more like a street bum than a Ranger.

Raleigh Becket. The dead weight. The construction worker. The guy who was supposed to have Striker's back.

The man he found attractive. The man he wouldn't mind having…

He was twenty-one. Sue him.

His eyes found the lean lines of muscle, the scars hidden partially underneath the shirt, and he knew where they came from. Chuck knew everything about Gipsy Danger and her pilots. He had grown up with those heroes and he had felt anger and pain and such strong disappointment when Raleigh had quit, it had taken a long time for him to get over it.

Rangers didn't quit in his eyes. Rangers were heroes.

He had been sixteen then.

He had just become a Ranger himself.

It didn't help now that Becket was easy on the eyes, competent, matching and mirroring with Mako, making it clear that she was his co-pilot. Against Pentecost's wishes.

This was his defense. The guy who hadn't been inside a Conn-Pod for five years and a rookie. Fantastic.

And still, looking at the muscular form, the level of fitness in the older pilot, he felt it all rise like a tidal wave, ready to flood him.

Raleigh was strong, capable, just a little bit cocky, and rather competent.

Chuck's wolf side growled.

He liked that. A lot.

Bloody hell!

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

It was the beginning of a downhill slide.

XOXOXO

Chuck screwed his eyes shut at a sharp pain running through him. He steadied himself against the wall, feeling like the whole world was tilting sideways.

It wasn't a reaction to the adrenaline high, almost getting obliterated because the first Drift between Becket and Mori had gone so catastrophically wrong.

It was something that had been building in the back of his mind as he tried to disconnect Gipsy Danger, stop those two morons from blowing them all sky-high. Becket had given him a headache before they had ever talked with each other.

"Fuck."

The single word seemed to lance through him, cutting his mind apart. With an extreme effort he managed not to just curl up and crawl into a corner.

He channeled the pain into anger, heading for the debrief.

The very floor seemed to grow all wavy and twist around him. His mind buzzed with something akin to whispers and a voice cut through. He didn't understand the voice, but it was louder than everything else.

No way!

No fucking way!

His Shifter hindbrain suddenly realized what had happened and he almost froze in horror.

No, no, no! Not Becket! Not anyone! He didn't need this on top of everything else!

Sure, he wouldn't say no to some stress relief. He wouldn't push the man away at all. Chuck had grown up in a war as a pilot and while his experiences weren't manifold, he wasn't a virgin either.

But Becket… he was more than an entertaining thought.

He was...

No! he thought furiously. No, no, no!

Chuck scrubbed an angry hand over his face. This wasn't about simple attraction or carnal pleasure. This was about survival and when it came down to that, Becket wasn't his best bet.

His brain was still busy with other images, though.

The attraction, coupled with what Shifter nature had suddenly thrown at him, was just another wrench in his life.

He was fucked. Utterly fucked.

XOXOXO

And his Dad knew.

He bloody hell knew and gave him the tray of food intended for Chuck.

His expression was tell-tale.

Chuck glared, resorting to verbal taunts, much to the disapproving scowl of his alpha, and then he left.

In all his short life he had hoped he would never have to deal with this. He didn't need someone as his counterpart. He had a co-pilot, he had his pack, his alpha. He didn't need Raleigh Becket!

Now, as the end of the world was about to start, the most dangerous mission just on the horizon, it had happened.

Becket.

Fuck the hell him!

He didn't need a bonded mate. He didn't need someone who was Drift compatible without ever entering a kwoon with him.

He didn't need Raleigh Becket, the has-been, the unknown factor in Pentecost's Operation Pitfall.

Chuck bared his teeth, feeling them grow sharper, a little more pointy. A growl rose from his throat.

No, he wouldn't acknowledge what was slowly rising inside him.

He would squash it, terminate it.

He needed no one!

tbc...


	2. Chapter 2

"_You two are a goddamn disgrace! You're gonna get us all killed! Here's the thing, Rah-leigh. I want to come back from this mission 'cause I kinda like my life. So here's the thing. Why don't you do us all a favor and disappear? It's the only thing you're good at."_

The words hurt. Not just Raleigh. They even hurt him. Looking into those blue eyes, their steely expression, the pain lingering in there, the determination, the sheer grit the man had, even after such a long time.

And still he lashed out.

He didn't want to die! He didn't want an inexperienced pilot pair as back-up as his alpha and he went down to the Breach to close the bloody thing.

Chuck knew what he was doing with those words and to whom. He didn't care at all.

He wanted to live.

And he didn't need Becket, who didn't acknowledge him anyway.

He didn't need a bond that the other man didn't want.

The problem was, it didn't stop there. Not with the words.

It went into a full-blown fight that had him hurting, furious, even bleeding.

Part of him was elated at the skill of the other man, his strength and the ease with which he fought. Another part was howling mad at being overpowered.

That part had his eyes flash, saw Raleigh's turn from a human blue to a lupine silver-gray. That part had fangs grow and talons push out of his nails.

His alpha intervened and Chuck felt nothing but betrayal when Herc, his father, his own pack, sided with Raleigh Becket. It was even worse when he caught a flare of alpha in Herc's eyes.

The pressure behind his forehead rose. It was the alpha's will, Herc trying to calm him and make him listen. It was his alpha's will that forced him to stay human and it hurt. It goddamn hurt!

Fuck.

Bloody hell fuck it all!

Chuck didn't want to listen and aside from throwing him to the ground and make him do just that, Herc could only glare from yellow eyes. Low rumbles were coming from his chest.

XOXOXOXO

So it ended in Chuck furiously glaring at his alpha, who was trying to keep him from shifting and lunging at the other Shifter. Raleigh just glared back, blood on his face, bruises forming, but the fire was there.

Wolf.

Unmistakable.

Not even the reprimands changed that fire, that glow in his eyes.

Something primal rose inside Chuck, snarling the challenge, wanting more of that man in a decidedly carnal way. It was shocking, it was hot and wild, and he pushed it back violently.

Raleigh turned and stalked away.

Chuck, his shoulder smarting, his face a bruised mess, and his soul keening softly, stared at his alpha.

Herc was furious. He rarely lost his cool like that; that the wolf came through. Nostrils flaring, Chuck pushed back and walked away, anger bright and heavy on his mind.

XOXOXOXO

Mako remained for a moment longer, her dark eyes meeting Herc's, and both knew that this was only the beginning.

Chuck blaming Mako, blaming Raleigh, throwing those insults at her and at him, it had been a knee-jerk reaction.

Coupled with the fury he experienced at Pentecost's decision to saddle him with a rookie and a washed-up has-been of a pilot who had run from the PPDC.

XOXOXOXO

Herc went after his son, but he knew the damage had been done. He knew that the chasm was growing already.

"I don't need a mate!" Chuck spat. "It's not like he acknowledges it either! Neither of us wants this on top of running a near-suicide attempt on the Breach!"

Herc watched the agitated young man and shook his head, a sad expression in his eyes. Guilt rode him; had always been with him. Angela's loss was always felt when it came to Chuck's childhood, raising his son inside a Shatterdome, so close to the war.

There had been no other choice.

Chuck had grown up into one of the best damn pilots out there, but it was a curse on top of the blessing that was his son.

"I don't need him for anything! Least of all as a Drift partner!"

Ah. That's where Chuck came from. Mates were perfect when it came to being Drift compatible. Mates were better than simple familial bonds. And an alpha bond would be even better.

Herc was convinced it would be a primary connection. They showed all the signs.

"I already have you," Chuck went on hotly. "I don't want him!"

"I'm your alpha, your father. I'm not a bond-mate."

Chuck bared his teeth. "Don't. Need. Him."

"You don't have to have him," Herc said, trying for reasonable.

His son snorted. "Right! That's the first thing they'll do: stick me and Becket into a kwoon and watch us spar. And we'll be perfectly matching and mirroring."

"There's no guarantee for that."

Another snort. It was highly unlikely that they would fail, though some training would follow the initial session.

Look at Mako and Raleigh. They weren't mates, simply good at their job, and they had been close in their first kwoon session. There wasn't a whiff of a secondary connection either. This was just on a professional basis.

Raleigh and Chuck would excel. Like Herc and Chuck did. The alpha was insanely proud of his beta, his child, because what they were was unmatched, unrivalled, fierce and filled with tempered grace and balance.

"Pentecost would be thrilled to have us stuck in Gipsy's carcass together," Chuck growled. "Won't have to sacrifice his daughter."

"Chuck!" Herc snarled, lips pulling back slightly over white teeth.

His beta rumbled, but he didn't follow the aggressive statement with an equally aggressive move.

"I don't want or need him," he muttered sullenly.

"But he is your mate."

"He's a dead weight! He's a danger to the mission! He shouldn't be in a Jaeger, let alone in that rust bucket they call Gipsy Danger! Pentecost is risking it all with them! With a has-been and a rookie!"

"Chuck…"

"You never needed yours!" his son yelled. "You and mom were happy, even without so much as a secondary connection!"

"Yes, we were. And I never met my mate before I met Angela."

Even if he had after his marriage to the most perfect woman he had ever gotten to know, Herc was sure he wouldn't have bonded to anyone else. Angela had been the love of his life and her loss had been felt as sharply and painfully as a severed bond.

Chuck looked ready to snap and Herc met the agitated eyes with as much calm as he could muster.

"Chuck."

It got him a dark look.

_Insolent little ass_, Herc thought fondly.

"Acknowledging the connection won't sever the pack bond."

His son almost physically rocked back, eyes widening, and he hissed angrily.

Another sore spot.

They were all they had left. A two-wolf pack. And now maybe a mate. The alpha was thrilled at the prospect. A pack meant strength and Raleigh would be a welcome addition.

Chuck didn't think so.

"Son…"

"Leave it! Just don't! It's not like he actually wants it either!" Chuck snarled and stalked off.

The wolf in Herc rumbled, drawn between going after his son and just letting him blow off steam.

In the end he let him go.

It would be better this way.

Hopefully.

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

It didn't help that they lost two Jaegers in one fight, damaging Striker Eureka.

It didn't help that the alpha went and got himself hurt.

Wolves were strong fighters and Shifters could take a lot, but the stress of the past weeks, the dwindling balance he felt with Chuck, and his own stupidity got Herc a broken collar bone for his troubles. The bruised muscles, the cracked rib and the tendon torn in his wrist were nothing compared to the break.

Breaks needed time to heal.

They didn't have time.

XOXOXOXO

One side effect of this complete disaster was Chuck taking note of Raleigh on a more personal level again.

Away from the fact that the man was a dead weight.

Away from the looming Operation Pitfall.

He and Mako had really kicked ass – and saved theirs in the process.

Chuck felt that stupid bond again, crawling around in his head, twining in his soul, wanting more. Becket was an attractive man and a fighter, and he wasn't his mate!

Sitting on the scaffolding surrounding the severely bruised Striker Eureka, he watched the workers. Max had plopped down at his side with a doggy sigh.

Chuck scratched the bulldog's ears.

"Why me, why now?" he murmured. "Why him?"

Max had no answer for him. He gave a soft snore-grumble that had the Shifter smile fondly.

Any other time, long before now or long after today… but no, fate had to slap him where it hurt. And she had to fuck him over twice by handing him a mate who didn't want him, didn't so much as twitch in his presence, who blocked himself completely and had shields up to the wazoo.

XOXOXOXO

Sasha and Aleksis were found more dead than alive, half drowned, only their more resilient Shifter nature to thank for that they hadn't been killed. They had numerous broken bones, Aleksis suffering from a collapsed lung, Sasha from a near-crippling break to three vertebrae.

Both were immediately flown back to the Shatterdome and rolled into surgery.

Everyone prayed they would survive.

No one found any trace of the Weis.

Pentecost didn't declare them dead before he went down to the Breach.

XOXOXOXO

And Chuck ended up running a suicide mission to the bottom of the ocean with Stacker Pentecost, and Gipsy Danger as their back-up.

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

Herc Hansen felt like he was torn apart, his mind and soul reaching for his last pack member, holding on, unable to let go.

Chuck was in pain.

Chuck was dying.

He wouldn't let it happen.

_Fuck it, Stacker, don't let it happen!_

There was a flurry of confusion, then nothing but darkness, interspersed with electric sparks of a mind trying to hold on.

_Dad… pain… need… please…_

Herc's hands clenched into fists, his arm aching abominably. He had foregone the painkillers in these last, stressful moments, right before blowing up Striker Eureka to hopefully close the Breach.

Now he was coming down and he was crashing.

Hard.

Fast.

And still he fought the hands of those trying to help him, trying to soothe the anger and pain the alpha wolf felt at the possible, looming loss of his beta.

Tendo's voice was insistent, the words a jumble of meaningless noises, but he got through.

_Sit down. Take a breath. Hold him. Where is he? Herc, my man, talk to me._

And he did.

They had to find Chuck.

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

They had survived.

Raleigh had no idea when he had last felt such happiness, such giddy relief, such joy.

Mako and he, they had survived. Sitting on the escape pod, wet and exhausted, smiling nonetheless.

Her forehead rested against his, fingers entwined.

They were alive.

Raleigh closed his eyes, feeling remnants of the Drift.

Pain. Mourning. Sadness. Revenge. Satisfaction. Strength.

He drew on the strength.

Mako met his eyes, smiling, looking almost high on adrenaline.

"It's over," he whispered.

They held on to each other on top of the pod.

XOXOXOXO

Search crews found them not much later.

XOXOXOXO

It was only when Raleigh sat safely strapped in a rescue helicopter that he felt that sharp tug inside him.

Like he had missed something.

He was too tired to think about it, but somewhere in the back of his mind was something.

Soft, faint, barely there.

The thwup-thwup of the helicopter's blades drowned it out and his eyes found Mako's, his anchor in a sea of emotions that were almost overwhelming him.

XOXOXOXO

The reception back at the Shatterdome was truly overwhelming indeed. Every tech, mechanic, engineer and maintenance worker was in Gipsy's bay. They were cheering, calling their names, and Raleigh almost recoiled from the noise level.

Mako interlaced their fingers, squeezing his, still encased in the Drivesuit's armor.

Herc walked through the teeming mass of men and women, all trying to catch a glance of the survivors, cheering, congratulating them, calling them heroes.

Raleigh's eyes were on Herc. He reacted almost immediately to the authority figure, relieved to see the older man, latching onto the silent strength. Herc still looked exhausted and pale. His injuries stood out even more, the strapped arm, the bruises and cuts. His eyes were still that intense blue-gray, just with an edge of gold.

"Sir," Raleigh said, exhaustion in his own voice more than audible.

"Welcome home," Herc said roughly. "You did it. You goddamn did it."

The smile was there, not reaching his eyes.

Mako was a steady presence at his side. Raleigh needed her to keep his senses about him. It was too loud, too crowded, he was fighting it all with crumbling shields, and the images from the Anteverse were terrible memories vying for his attention.

He knew he would have nightmares.

He knew he would see the other dimension again and again. That terrifying, world-shattering moment when he had looked into something no human mind was made to understand.

"Get yourselves to medical," Herc ordered.

"What about…?" Raleigh stumbled a little.

"We caught a beacon. Crews are searching."

Something inside him twanged and Raleigh blamed the resonance of the Drift.

It wasn't the fact that he was sure that Chuck had survived.

Looking at Herc, he knew that the alpha was convinced of it, too. He would be most aware of his son's life or death.

"Medical," Herc repeated. "Now."

Mako nodded and pulled Raleigh along.

The other Shifter had never been so reluctant to leave the Marshall than now.

They weren't even pack, but for a brief moment it had felt like it.

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

He woke with a terrible headache. It seemed to split his skull, radiating from his forehead to his back and he groaned softly. His eyes were closed and every move hurt. Nausea rose inside of him and he swallowed several times.

Chuck blinked his eyes open and quickly shut them again as a bright flash lit up the murkiness he had briefly seen around him. It was quickly followed by a thundering rumble.

His head was throbbing and he felt bruises all over his body.

He opened his eyes once more after a while, this time seeing only murky darkness. He felt dizzy and nauseous as he sat up and tried to figure out where he was.

What a ride, he thought as the world stopped spinning around him.

The rain beat down heavily, fat drops leaving craters in the wet sand on the lone stretch of beach. The waves from the ocean were high, wild, dangerous. Out there, in the middle of the Pacific, water still rolled in to the shore, upset and rough, disturbed by the events that had concluded deep down on the ocean floor.

The Apocalypse.

They had won.

They had survived.

He had survived and now Chuck Hansen lay on the beach, eyes blinking against the torrential rain. It ran off his face, pooled underneath him until the sand could take it all in.

Mixing with the blood.

Cleaning it off his Drivesuit.

He knew he should be hurting, but somehow the pain was far away. It was there, but it didn't really consciously register.

He had survived.

Somehow.

Striker Eureka was nothing but a memory, a million, billion, gazillion pieces of nuked metal floating in the water. Or shot sky-high. They would find pieces of her for decades to come, he mused.

A faint smile crossed his lips.

He wanted to wipe the water out of his face, but his arms didn't follow his commands.

His brain felt rattled, thoughts coming and going, just drifting around.

"Dad?" he rasped, voice rough, painful.

It wasn't just a call, it was a mind reaching for the calming presence of his alpha, trying to get through the turmoil inside him.

Pack mentality. It was more than just two words. It was real. Wolves of a pack were connected, felt the other, and Chuck was wounded, weak, in pain, reaching for the one stability he had always relied on.

Herc.

His alpha.

::Dad?:: he tried again, fingers twitching, drawing faint furrows into the sand.

::Hold on, son. We're on our way.::

_We?_ Chuck thought muzzily.

Then there was nothing once again.

tbc...


	3. Chapter 3

When he woke a second time it was to the feeling of someone being with him, very close, hovering. He was confused as to what had happened, his mind fuzzy, and his body didn't seem to respond to his brain's commands.

Spikes of pain radiated from his shoulder and abdomen, and he didn't even want to think about the other parts of his body that felt terribly bruised and battered. His back seemed to be the center of the mess, closely followed by all limbs.

It was a distant pain, dulled by medication, but it was there.

Chuck tried to remember why he hurt, but he drew a blank.

The presence drew closer, calming him as panic flashed because he couldn't remember, soothing his fear.

Someone touched him, drawing gentle fingers through his hair.

The presence inside him came closer and he drew an immense comfort from his alpha's nearness. His mind was a mess and he couldn't really think straight.

::I'm here, kid::

His father's voice.

XOXO

Time passed. Chuck was drifting in and out. He felt someone close by, but whenever he managed to pry his eyes open, he was still alone.

His brain, rattled and completely out of whack as it was, kept pushing memories at him.

And emotions.

And something else. It was this connection outside his pack, one that was palpable and real, one that spoke of a familiarity he was still fighting.

He swam in a gray sea of nothingness. There was no light, no shadow, no pain, no nothing.

Pain.

A faint memory of pain stole itself upon him and he looked down his body - only to stop in surprise. He had no body. But the memory of pain remained.

Pain and the voice of a friend.

Puzzled he tried to drag more of the memories to the surface of this strange state of consciousness.

A shadow, passing through a dark tunnel.

Pain.

A shadow and the immediate sense of danger.

Pain. Incredible, unbelievable pain.

Someone called his name.

Then he was lost in darkness for a while.

Light washed over him and he groaned. The pain shot through him, consumed him, burned itself unto his waking thoughts.

Someone begged him to hold on. Someone was out there, somewhere in the grayness, still begging, still calling. The voice changed, became darker and more insistent, telling him not to give up, to hold on... to fight. With an effort he tried to move from where he was and get to the voice. He wanted to know the one who called him, though he faintly thought he knew him. But he couldn't move. Every time he tried the pain increased. It was like a living barrier between him and the voice.

Weak.

Tired.

Sleep.

The grayness around him was oppressive. He fought against the ever tightening walls of gray against gray, but it was a fight he was loosing. He was too weak, too tired. The pain was omnipresent. He slipped back into nothingness, his awareness fading.

Someone yelled, but he couldn't hear the sound anymore. He just wanted to go, but something held him back. It was gentle, warm, covering him in a blanket, and he stayed.

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

He opened his eyes and saw white. Focusing, he realized he was staring at a white ceiling, with a large, bright light hanging down from a fixture overhead. The light hurt his eyes and he closed them again. Then he heard a voice calling his name. It sounded familiar and his mind sluggishly tried to remember more. He opened his eyes, carefully this time, not to be blinded again - and looked straight into a pair of dark eyes.

"Hello there, good-looking. Glad to see you're up from your nap."

Dr. Ling Kei smiled and there was a lot of relief accompanying the words.

Chuck tried to talk, but found that he couldn't.

Actually, he had no vocal cords.

Gray fur on small paws with two thumbs greeted his gaze.

Oh fuck.

He had… hadn't he?

Double fuck.

"Easy there. You shifted a while ago, just after surgery. It appears your alpha blocked you long enough for us to help you treat the injuries, then let you shape-change."

Oh. Huh. Okay.

"Are you in any pain?"

He thought about her question, slowly taking inventory of his body. As he did, he became aware of a great deal of pain, wincing when he tried to move. He nodded.

"Okay, I'm going to give you something. You just relax, lie back and don't try to move that much, understood?"

He nodded again, trying to follow her orders. His memory was still rather sketchy, but he recalled Operation Pitfall, their failure to detonate, feeling the desperation and pain, trying to get out... and then nothing. Well, almost nothing. There had been someone... someone close… calming him.

And now he was in his third shape. He hadn't shifted into the wolf but into what some would call the Mr. Hyde version of a koala. Talons, speed, flexibility and wolf strength inside the cuddly, fluffy form of a male koala.

Great…

When Kei returned with the pain medication he gestured weakly since he was unable to talk.

She frowned.

"Something wrong?"

He shook his head, gesturing at everything, then shrugged - at least as much as the burns let him.

"You're back at the Shatterdome. Your alpha insisted you stay close."

_Dad…_

He felt the presence, calming, stable, balancing. His father wasn't far. And there was something else, at the edge, keeping him warm from a different side.

_Who…?_

Chuck stared at the ceiling. The pain medication started to work and he felt himself drift off. He didn't even try to battle the exhaustion, just slipped into the darkness of sleep.

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

He was released from the medical ward to stay with his alpha, who carried him home. Chuck hadn't found the strength to actually shift back to human shape. Frankly, he couldn't give a flying fuck about what he looked like at the moment. He knew it would be painful to change shape right now and reopen wounds, so he listened to instinct and let himself get carried home.

Through silent, dark corridors. The Shatterdome appeared massive, cavernous, dark and foreboding with no one around.

"Almost everyone is with their families," Herc said softly into one furry ear.

His voice was a low, reassuring murmur.

"I let them go. It's time to celebrate life, that we won. Nothing is more important now."

Chuck managed a soft little grunt.

His father smiled. "Just an emergency crew here. We still got a job, kid. I got a job. The PPDC isn't ready to deal with the future right now, but I know they won't shut us down again. The immediate threat is gone, but there are already voices out there calling for a permanent guard."

Another mumble.

"It's nothing you need to think about right now, Chuck."

Herc felt warm and strong against him, the Henley barely a barrier between them. Chuck was lulled into a sense of peace, of calmness, and he closed his eyes, burying his nose against his alpha's neck.

The scent was familiar. It meant safety.

He was too tired to fight the need. He wanted to crawl somewhere safe and warm, be away from it all, and heal.

Parties were happening elsewhere. He didn't really feel like celebrating anything.

He wasn't even awake when they arrived at their current quarters and his father settled down with him, on the bed, holding him protectively.

Chuck was out like a light.

XOXO

Herc's expression was soft, mixed with lingering worry, his fingers drifting over Chuck's fur in a barely there caress. There weren't enough places for long strokes because of all the bandages.

Chuck was still a bit fuzzy about the extent of his injuries, but Herc knew every little cut and bruise. The stomach area was completely shaved, lines of stitching marring the soft skin. There were burns, there were deep cuts and lacerations, he had broken bones and a concussion.

Yeah, he was a mess.

A koala-shaped mess.

But his son was alive.

XOXO

In the end he stripped and shifted into his wolf shape, curling around the smaller koala. He licked gently over the few areas not bandaged or burned.

Chuck murmured in his sleep, snuffling a little, and Herc rumbled softly.

It was how he dozed off, safe in the knowledge that his son was alive and with him.

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

The world was breathing again, safe from Kaijus, the Breach closed.

The Walls would be torn down, the cities rebuild, but it would take years. Maybe decades. In some cases it might never be the same.

Nuclear strikes did that to a landscape, to a place.

But humanity was resilient. And celebrated.

XOXO

He slept through it all.

For once in his lifetime Chuck Hansen didn't stand in front of the cameras, a celebrity, a hero.

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

The dreams came.

Winding down from the post-Apocalypse high, Raleigh Becket crashed like a bag of bricks the moment medical was through with him.

He slept for almost twelve hours.

He ate.

He was there to get back-slaps of relief and joy, for the hugs, the well-wishes, the celebrations all over the Shatterdome.

He smiled, he nodded, he shook hands, and he let people pose with him for the camera. It was surreal and he felt detached from it all, the aches and pains not relevant, the victory nothing at all, really.

He felt like he was in a zone, a fugue state. Raleigh felt something thrum through him, something that could be powerful and all-encompassing, now numbed and distant.

Aside from him and Mako, Chuck Hansen had survived as well. Part of him had already known, like an instinct deep inside him. He felt Chuck, even though he shouldn't be able to feel at all. The scarring…

Raleigh sighed.

Apparently Hansen had scraped by on his teeth, hanging on with dogged determination, while Raleigh had barely a scratch.

Part of him wanted to see him.

Another part fought that.

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

"They told me I could never bond."

Mako tilted her head. "How would anyone be able to tell, unless you have broken a bond?"

"I'm brain-damaged, Mako. Tearing a co-pilot out of a Drift, interrupting the neural handshake like that… you lose the part that was with him. You keep his ghost with you, that moment when you were one mind. And I felt his death. I still do."

Raleigh's hands clenched around his mug of hot tea.

They were in the Jaeger bay, looking through the partially open blast doors out over the ocean. Behind them workers were busy, ignoring them most of the time.

"I felt his ghost," she said.

Raleigh winced. "Sorry about that."

"I have my own."

He looked at her, taking in her fine smile, the sadness in her eyes. Pentecost's funeral had been the day before and the shadows still lingered. There had been no body to bury and the service had been symbolic in nature.

Yes, Mako had her own shadows, her own ghosts, but she hadn't lost part of herself.

"You feel something is there, Raleigh," his co-pilot said. "I felt it with you. It's weak. It's trying to grow."

"It's not a bond."

"What else could it be?"

"Echoes. Things that could have been if not for Leatherback. My own brashness. In a way I thought we were invincible. I paid for that mistake."

She shook her head, bang flying. "You are a very stubborn man, Raleigh Becket, just like your mate."

The blue eyes widened and he stared at her. "What?" Raleigh stuttered.

"You and I know what happened, but you don't want to hope, nor will you acknowledge."

"Mako…"

"Neither does he."

Raleigh shook his head. "I can't bond," he insisted.

"A neural handshake is not a soul bond. It is close, but not in the same place. The wounds you bear don't make it impossible for you to find your partner. You can and you have connected."

To Chuck Hansen?

Raleigh wanted to laugh. Of all the people in the Shatterdome…

But inside him was something small and warm, something that had responded to Chuck in a way he had never responded to another person before, not even among his pack, his siblings. It was growing stronger and it had tried to tell him that his intended bond partner was alive.

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

That was when he dreamed in bright, surreal colors.

Saw alien figures, with too many eyes, gangly limbs and strange shapes.

A world of red and blue, orange and yellow, purple and silver, and Kaijus. Alien and incomprehensible.

Rows upon rows, the breeding chambers with different stages of development. Preparations made for another assault wave.

Raleigh felt paralyzed in those dreams. He felt terror and helplessness, time ticking away.

And then there was the explosion that took it all away.

Raleigh woke with a start, heart racing, body trembling with the aftershocks.

Somewhere in the back of his mind something stirred, tried to break through the weakening shields around his soul, but he didn't really listen to it.

He had suffered nightmares in the past, always about Yancy, about the broken neural handshake, about Knifehead tearing his mind apart. Now those nightmares had a different twist.

His lips were thin lines in a pale face as he got up and dressed.

He wasn't a stranger to interrupted sleep. He knew how to deal.

That's how Raleigh took up late night running again.

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

Mako Mori had Drifted with her co-pilot twice.

It was enough for her to understand the pain and fear residing deep within the other man. It was enough to feel the tears in his soul where Yancy had been.

It was enough to feel the jagged, barely healing scars.

But the scars weren't debilitating. They weren't permanent, a handicap, something to limit his abilities to bond.

Raleigh only thought they were.

She knew there was something happening between Raleigh and Chuck. The electricity was there, in the contact, in every word and gesture.

And Herc had realized it, too.

XOXO

"He doesn't believe in being able to touch another soul," she told the alpha wolf. "His soul is under layers of protective shields. It's automatic. It's hard for him to consider letting it all go."

Herc frowned, then his eyes widened a fraction. "Knifehead."

She nodded once. "He has scars, but those wounds can heal. Even if he does not believe it. He Drifted with me. Yes, he went out of alignment, but his wounds are still so very much open and painful. Still he helped me as I chased my own nightmares. He is very, very strong, but he no longer believes in himself."

Herc's gaze wandered around the empty Jaeger bay. "I've felt the changes. I know Chuck's responding more strongly to him than he wants to. And if I leave it to my son…it'll end in bond shock." He shook his head. "Bloody stubborn kid!"

Mako smiled slightly. "They both are, Marshall. Raleigh won't listen to the signals and Chuck will… be himself."

He snorted a little laugh. "Oh yes, Miss Mori, he will. Right now he's an obstinate ball of fluff and bandages, glaring at everyone, hating everything, and turning his back on the one who could help him so much. He'd bite my hand off if he could."

"I heard he shifted," Mako said neutrally, tilting her head a little.

Herc grinned. "Third form shift. The were-koala."

She chuckled. "Only he would call himself that."

"He does look a little like a nasty mix between a wolf and koala. Cuddly with a side of prickly and nasty."

"Raleigh doesn't know that about him."

Herc heaved a breath that sounded almost like a sigh. "There's a lot neither knows about the other. All I can do is push my beta into the right direction. Raleigh himself… he feels like pack already. He responds to me outside Marshall-Ranger hierarchy. Part of him knows."

"Then maybe we should work on making him realize that he can still bond," Mako said calmly, a fine smile on her lips.

"While convincing the little bastard that is my son that a soulmate is not the end of the world, taking the pack from him."

"Which might be the hard part."

Herc nodded. Yeah, it would be.

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

Sometimes Raleigh was running in his wolf form. He was free in that shape, his mind disconnecting from the human problems, just enjoying the world at a different pace and in a different light.

When he let the wolf past the barriers of humanity, instincts were all that guided him.

The Shatterdome was his territory, though he wouldn't challenge the Shatterdome's alpha for it. He was allowed to be here and he was aware that in a fight, the alpha would kick his ass.

So he stayed out of the higher ranking wolf's way and just took to the areas where he wouldn't be seen as an intruder.

No one stopped him.

Sometimes he thought he felt the alpha near-by, and part of him was drawn to the silent call.

He longed for a pack, he realized. He had been part of one and that instinct was still running hot. Herc was a strong alpha and Raleigh's wolf side readily accepted him.

Too bad the pack's beta hated his guts.

tbc...


	4. Chapter 4

A week after getting released from the medical ward, Chuck was on his own two, human feet again.

Looking into the mirror he saw a too pale, too thin face with dark circles under his eyes. He had nasty burn scars that he had to keep wrapped, but he was a quick healer, like wolves usually were in matters of skin. His broken bones had mended enough that he didn't need a cast, but his arm was still strapped to his chest and his wrist was tightly bandaged. Yes, wolves were good healers by nature, but even they needed extensive recovery time after such damage. And there was no guarantee that he would come out of this without scars to show.

He had refused to have visitors while he healed, doped up on heavy painkillers, looking like a roasted piece of koala bacon.

Not even Mako.

Herc was accepted and needed, the doctors were a necessary evil, but anyone else was unwanted.

Especially Raleigh.

Who had asked about him, his father had mentioned briefly.

That it gave him a little thrill, that it had him feel strangely warm inside, had been viciously ignored.

At night he dreamed of things he couldn't really grasp.

Colorful worlds, alien and strange, glowing in a light that reminded him of the Breach.

He dreamed of a wolf running, of being torn apart.

XOXOXO

Twice he woke up in his third shape, the shoulder brace torn, all bandages falling off. Cranky, sharp talons clenched into the bedspread, tears showing in his pillow, he needed a moment to gather his thoughts.

He really needed to get a sturdier pillow.

Once he had pillow stuffing between his teeth.

Herc didn't comment.

He barely even raised his eyebrows more than once.

_Fuck you_, Chuck's expression always said as he ambled off into the bathroom to calm down, unwind; change back.

He was reaching for Raleigh, running head-first into the shields.

The bond… the damned bond!

XOXOXO

It was also the time the headaches started. Small ones at first. He blamed the injuries and maybe a slight concussion, but they didn't get better. For twenty-four hours, Chuck fought against the ever-rising ache, then it had developed into a migraine and he was almost completely out for the following hours.

Herc turned down the light that hurt his sensitive eyes and he gave him a pain reliever that managed to kick his thought processes back into order.

Still, the headaches came and went with almost regular clarity. Throughout it all, he had this unmistakable sense that someone was just outside his door, waiting, but no one ever came in.

He would have probably bitten that person's head off anyway.

XOXOXO

"Son…"

"Leave it, old man!" he snapped and tried to pull away.

The need to curl up in a dark corner was overpowering. He felt the first ripples of a shift and bit his teeth.

"Chuck…"

"I said leave it!" he roared, batting Herc's hand away.

Eyes flashing golden, the alpha glared at his beta and Chuck cringed a little.

"You want to break the bond, is that it?" Herc asked, voice so very level, even with the gravelly touch, it was almost painful.

Chuck froze. "I…" he managed, then shook his head. He chewed on his lower lip. "I… don't know. I don't know," he repeated.

And he really didn't. There was a twisting conflict inside him. On one side he really didn't want it; he was self-sufficient. His parents had never needed it. On the other side he had been around the Kaidanovskys a long time and he had seen how close they were. The trust and ease between them, the unspoken understanding.

Then again: Raleigh Becket.

Not that the man wasn't attractive. Chuck had had his sexual epiphany around the time he had become a Jaeger pilot. With Raleigh he would have to be blind, too. He felt the pull and it wasn't because of the bond. Attraction didn't work like that.

It was simply that they had gotten off on the completely wrong foot and hadn't been able to reconcile in any way. If at all, it had gotten a lot worse.

And Raleigh didn't want him. He had made it clear right away and he pushed the attempts to let the connection happen away. He didn't even allow a secondary one. This was a nascent bond and despite the stress it was under, Becket shielded and pushed.

Herc watched him, eyes still those of the wolf, tense, ready to act. "You hate him," he stated. "You don't want what the connection offers, what could be."

"He doesn't want it either!"

And now he sounded like a petulant child. Pouting. Angry that the other one didn't acknowledge what Chuck felt, even if Raleigh would simply fling it back into his face.

But there was nothing.

Well, there had been a little. Those intense moments when they watched each other, when Raleigh hesitated a fraction of a second, but then it had been gone again. Like a figment of his imagination.

Could a soulmate with an alpha level connection looming over them be so cold and distant?

The answer was yes.

His own uncle…

Chuck felt a moment of revulsion, of nausea, and he veered away from those memories.

Raleigh didn't react to him, though Chuck could feel him. He felt something the other man… didn't?

"Have you ever wondered why?" Herc asked, his level voice cutting through Chuck's thoughts.

"What?"

The golden eyes were intense, like his alpha knew something or suspected something, and expected his beta to find out by himself.

"Give it a thought, Chuck," Herc only said. "About why bond stress might not affect Raleigh the way it should."

XOXOXO

He did.

It took him a while, wandering around, mostly in his koala shape and through air vents where no one would ever find him. It was something he had done in the past ten years, exploring the Shatterdomes his dad had been stationed at over the years in a new way.

It had driven his alpha insane at times.

It was why Chuck had always done it again.

His bones healed, his skin knitted together.

XOXOXO

And sometimes he slept in his father's quarters, both men Shifted, the pack bond strong and unbreakable between them. It buffered the stress coming in over the other connection that was still trying to form.

Herc didn't comment on his son curling up and almost purring, always as a koala, always clenching sharp claws in the thick, ginger fur.

Chuck didn't comment on his father licking over his fur and nuzzling him.

XOXOXO

All the while he thought about it, the situation, the whole fucked up mess his life had become ever since Raleigh Becket had stepped into the Hong Kong Shatterdome. He looked at himself, at Becket, at them as individuals and as a whole.

Raleigh was completely messed up, just like Chuck. Though for different reasons.

His family pack was gone. Like Chuck's and not like Chuck's. Chuck had lost his mother to the Kaijus, but he still had his alpha.

Raleigh had been a total basket case who had fled after Yancy's death and he had left the PPDC. Chuck had thought him to be a coward and later a liability to the mission.

Maybe he was broken beyond repair.

Maybe Chuck had no idea how to repair that.

Maybe they were mates, but neither was truly capable of becoming more than acquaintances because of their scars.

It was a lot of deep thinking he did, sitting in the vents, on the Shatterdome roof, in the scaffolding that had once been Striker Eureka's.

Herc left him to it. He gave him the room as he himself was busy with what the world had become. Chuck got a few ideas what the new Marshall had to handle, but right now he was too busy with his own life. As pack beta he should be more of a help, but Mako had taken over the deputy position in the Shatterdome's hierarchy, for which Chuck was grateful. He didn't think he was deputy material.

XOXOXO

"I don't hate him," Chuck said over lunch four days later.

They were in Herc's office, the Marshall's office, and Chuck had brought sandwiches.

Like a peace offering.

Now he sounded almost thoughtful, like it was a revelation to him, and maybe it was.

_The kid's twenty-one_, Herc reminded himself. _Soon twenty-two. He's so young and has the experience of several life-times. Jaded before his time, grown up too fast, never had the time._

"Not that it's showing," he simply said.

He winced. "Dad…"

Herc was the alpha. It was his job to work as an arbitrator in his pack, to remain objective, to help his pack – just his beta – see the truth. Right now, no coddling.

"You made sure to show him what you thought of him, Chuck. You keep pushing. You don't want the connection, then terminate it. Don't wait until Raleigh finally realizes that he doesn't feel echoes of Yancy, that it's a living being, not a dead pack mate."

Realization visibly hit his beta like a blow to the guts. The last puzzle piece slid painfully into place and it was quite visible.

Herc could read his only child like an open book and always had. The Drift had added a new layer to it, but Chuck wore his emotions openly. For all his thinking, he hadn't really come to the correct conclusions.

So Herc had pushed a little more to get him there, in the right direction.

Chuck's hands clenched and unclenched. He got up and paced the length of the office, face too pale. For a moment his face was almost violently expressionless, then he suddenly whirled around and buried his fist in the wall.

Herc winced.

Chuck hissed and flexed his hand. He snarled softly under his breath.

"Chuck."

One word. An order. The voice even deeper than its normal timbre.

"He's… he can't be my mate!" the younger man exploded, so many emotions mixing into the exclamation. "He doesn't even like me!"

"Mates are not a carbon copy of you, son. It's also not an instant eternal love."

"How would you know?" he yelled. "You never had a mate!"

Herc rocked back, baring teeth that looked decidedly sharper, then control was back. "No, I never had a mate. Your mother was human. I loved her. I loved her more than life. A bond isn't necessary to be happy. A bond doesn't mean eternal happiness. It simply tells you that the other person fits you."

"Not Becket!" Chuck made an inarticulate noise of rage and pain. "You never needed your mate! Uncle Scott…" He stopped, face white, swallowing hard. "He didn't need his either."

Herc's own features were frozen, eyes those of the wolf, bright and lethal at the reminder of what his younger brother had done, what he, the alpha, had been unable to prevent. He had lost a part of his pack that day, part of himself when he had turned his back on a man he couldn't believe he had ever known – and not known at all.

"Doesn't mean you have to push away yours, kid," he said, voice rough.

Chuck suddenly slid down the wall, burying his hands in his hair, pulling at the ginger strands.

"I never wanted this!"

Herc was silent.

"All I wanted was to Drift, to be a Jaeger pilot. Your beta. Now there's him and he doesn't fit into this!"

"He does, Chuck," Herc said softly.

Seamlessly. Like the missing piece that neither knew was out there.

Green eyes, filled with the horror of realization met his. Green eyes he had seen full of tears and emotions that were rarely ever spoken about. Herc felt himself flash back to watching his son walk into the Conn-Pod with Pentecost.

It had been a final good-bye back then.

Chuck hadn't thought he would survive.

Neither had Herc.

He would have lost his last pack member and he knew he wouldn't have come back from that. But that was the past and he had his son. He had pack.

"He can't feel me," Chuck groaned. "'Cause that was torn out of him, right? This is so fucked up! How is this my life?!"

Herc waited a moment, then crouched down beside his beta. He wrapped an arm around the broad shoulders and rested his forehead against Chuck's temple. Fine tremors ran through the other, then finally he quieted down. The heady presence of his alpha calming him down, evening out the waves.

"Raleigh isn't numb or immune. He can feel the bond in a way, Chuck."

"W-what?"

"Mako. The Drift. She knows. We talked. He's aware of you, kid. He doesn't know what to do with it, though. You push him away."

Jealousy flared at the mention of Mako, then flowed into despair.

"There is no right or wrong," Herc murmured. "There is only what you feel. If you don't want him, reject him completely. Don't let this fester and grow."

His son sighed deeply and finally raised his head. Herc moved back a little, but he kept in close contact.

"I don't hate him. Like that. To do that."

It would mean breaking what was there. Unless Raleigh let his shields go, the bond was one-way. Chuck could break it and Raleigh might never know what had happened.

"I know."

Chuck huffed a little laugh. "You want me to say I love him?"

"Wouldn't go that far. But you like him, don't you? You're attracted to him."

Sensitive nose. Instinct. Alpha.

Take a pick.

Chuck leaned his head against the wall. "Kinda. He's not bad. If we had met any other way… we might have just clicked. Just…"

"He rubs you wrong. Came at the worst possible time in your life."

"Yeah."

They were having a lot of ups and downs, like a rollercoaster ride, and it was making them dizzy.

Herc squeezed one shoulder. "Talk to him. Just talk. Let your instincts guide you. Raleigh has to learn to trust his instincts just like you."

"I've got shit instincts," Chuck replied darkly. "Look at how I handled it so far. And talkin's got me my ass handed to me." He gave a weak laugh.

Pressure. Too much pressure, the end of the world looming over them, the loss of so many Jaegers and crews. He had been desperate and it had translated through the pack bond and the Drift. Chuck had been furious that Pentecost had recalled Raleigh, had actively sought out the lone wolf and dragged him back.

As support.

Chuck had been insulted. And he had growled and snapped at anyone who mentioned Becket that the man was a danger. He hadn't driven a Jaeger in five years. He was a relic, a has-been.

But Raleigh had stepped right back in, had brought himself and Mako back. He had handled himself like the professional Ranger he was.

"Give it a chance," Herc said softly, almost to himself.

Chuck didn't reply. His thoughts whirled between 'don't need or want him' and 'he doesn't understand what it is and never rejected me'. Herc felt it through the family pack connection, let it happen without the alpha's interference.

He hoped this was a first step on the long road he knew lay ahead of them.

This wasn't going to be easy. It was an alpha bond, strong and powerful. If Raleigh gave in, there would be no stopping things.

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

Raleigh kept running every night.

Living on little sleep and waking to nightmares about the Anteverse, about broken bonds, about loss and pain and the cold, serrated edges of darkness.

The Ghost Drift was painfully present again. Not to Mako. They hadn't Drifted enough to feel those neural echoes.

It was Yancy.

That part that had remained inside Raleigh's brain and would probably forever be there. The part that had started to come alive after they had stepped out of the neural handshake.

The Ghost.

Now it was there, whispers of a dead man, and Raleigh dreamed.

XOXOXO

He met them on one of his runs around the endless seeming Shatterdome.

Pale eyes in pale gray faces, a dark gray back, thickly furred. They were huge, muscular, awe-inspiring, a sight to behold. He had a thicker ruff, larger paws, about a hand taller at the shoulder than her, and his back was almost black in color. The sides were a slate gray, the belly as light as his face. She was slender but still more powerfully built than Raleigh, her color scheme almost the same, though more gray where he was black.

Raleigh stayed where he was, respectful.

They watched him.

Then Sasha approached him, calm and without aggression. Aleksis followed. They weren't his pack, but he felt a faint connection. They were Jaeger pilots, they were under Herc Hansen's command, following him as an alpha and as a Marshall.

So in a way they were with him.

Sasha looked at him; the invitation was clear.

Raleigh took it.

Running with a small pack was balm for his soul. It was like a memory of Anchorage, with his brother and sister, with his parents and his uncle.

For those hours he didn't feel the pressure of memories on his mind.

tbc...


	5. Chapter 5

It was a little over a month after the closure of the Breach that Raleigh ran into Doctors Gottlieb and Geiszler, up late and discussing – arguing, really – the Breach and the Anteverse.

He stayed for a rather good snack of spring rolls and special sauce, followed by something he hadn't eaten before but was sweet and rather good. Newton was on a sugar high afterwards.

Not that it was that much of a difference to his usual hyper state.

XOXOXO

He started to talk about what he had seen.

In the end he returned every night.

XOXOXO

One night he started to talk to Newt about soul-bonds. About possibilities. About his brain damage.

The K-scientist listened, expression serious, thoughts clearly racing.

"Mako's right," he finally said. "A neural handshake is not in the same place as a soul-bond."

"Of course it isn't," Hermann sniped, limping over, face twisted into a frown. "No Shifter in his right mind would step into a Jaeger, let alone enter such a close connection, if it endangered their bond. What a ludicrous idea!"

"Hermann, snap out of it. You're being rude," Newton told him, waving one hand to silence his partner.

The Shifter glared at him, but it completely glanced off the other man.

"They said I wouldn't be able to bond again," Raleigh argued.

"They," Hermann scoffed. "They! Who is 'they'? Do 'they' have any idea what 'they' are talking about? No! You're scarred, Ranger Becket. You suffer from neurological damage, but not in that place. A broken bond would account for it. You never broke one. You lost your co-pilot."

Newton shot his partner another glare. Hermann ignored him.

And Raleigh felt only a little stab at the reminder. It had been so much worse before.

"There are tons of papers on Shifters and their different bonds," Newton explained, waving his arms. "I know. I read them all and wrote half of them. Ask me anything and you'll get an answer. The bond? It's a soul connection, not one of the mind. There are no hemispheres. There is just the metaphysical. It starts at the point of contact. It occurs when two different life forces collide and intertwine."

Collide. Yeah. He and Chuck had collided, alright, in the worst possible way.

Newton shrugged, as if he had read his mind. "For some it means actual contact, others just have to be in the same room together. You can't determine how strong the pull is by how mates meet, but usually secondary connections need the physical component."

The first time had been without touch, Raleigh mused. They had just looked at each other. Now, looking back, he knew it had happened then. The first physical contact had been a fight.

Just great.

"The Meta-DNA, the connection of life force and life, could be considered something like spokes on a wheel," Newton went on, sketching with his fingers in the air. "Personality, mannerisms, even something as simple as the tendency to wear certain kinds of clothing is all a part of Meta-DNA. There is, for some individuals, the ability to interconnect to another being, another person. That's why there is something called 'soulmates'. It's a crude term. It's not even all too clear. And it sounds sweetly romantic." He shrugged. "Meta-DNA is partly responsible for such things to exist. The next step is consciousness of the other person. Sometimes bonding can be very subtle."

Subtle. Raleigh wondered how subtle it had to have been with them. Actually, not at all. He simple hadn't thought it was possible for him, so he had ignored all the signs.

But he had found the one fitting him, against all odds, despite everything that had happened to him.

Chuck Hansen.

Bastard. Asshole. Jerk. Egotist.

His mate.

And the connection was marked by dark demons, ripping apart what life had decided belonged together.

"The next stage is denial or acceptance of the link," Newton pointed out. "You are suffering from bond stress as long as you can't decide. It defines your life. Up to the point of breaking it, if it can't be maintained. Breaking the bond would result in neither party being able to ever connect to another individual again."

Their meeting had been one of utter denial. Chuck hadn't broken it, Raleigh hadn't been aware of it, but both were not exactly helping the connection along either.

"Very few bonds occur easily or are readily accepted. The adjustment period can be very difficult." Newton looked almost pained at the words. He was human, sure, but he had a Shifter partner and he had studied it all. He understood. "There is a period of relational restructuring where the partners will fight each other until they come to terms in the relationship. Boundaries are set and they have to learn to work with one another if they're to survive."

_A period of relational restructuring. Months_, Raleigh thought numbly.

"You can't destroy Meta-DNA, Raleigh. It's impossible. You can only break the connection, but that doesn't destroy it. It's always there. It's not part of your brain. The neurological overload you received when the Jaeger crashed didn't destroy the ability to bond with a mate."

He could, Raleigh thought. It was possible. He just had to learn how, if he wanted to.

If he wanted Chuck Hansen.

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

The Kaidanovskys had healed as fast as expected, even quicker because they kept to their shifted forms, and no one really minded wolves in their midst. Shifters dealt with trauma mostly in their alternate shapes.

Raleigh was running with them, when he wasn't keeping Newton company.

It healed him on a different level.

The shields were starting to become more porous.

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

"He's still fighting it."

Mako inclined her head. "He is stubborn," she remarked. "They are both stubborn."

Herc snorted a little laugh. "You look up stubborn in a dictionary and you get the kid's picture. With a side note that says 'Raleigh Becket'."

"Why does he still fight the connection he so obviously has?"

"'Cause he's a contrary little bastard," the new Marshall growled, the wolf showing for a second.

Mako simply waited.

Herc sighed. "You've known him for a while now, Mako."

"That I have."

"And he's never been good when it came to committed relationships. Hell, he hasn't had any outside the Shatterdome that wasn't purely professional." Herc stared out the grimy window. "Angela and I weren't mates. Chuck's not simply a wolf. He didn't have a normal life. All of that, together with that temper and his need to excel at everything, makes it hard for him to… accept such a simple comfort."

"He does not believe in the bond?"

"Chuck doesn't believe in being forced into anything, be it his life, his job or his soul mate. And he doubts Raleigh would want him. They didn't really start out on the best terms."

Mako studied him silently. "Raleigh is a good man," she finally said. "He would give this a chance, despite the animosity and the fights between them. He wants it to be real, but he is afraid that all he feels are echoes and ghosts. I wish I could help. He deserves it."

"You know that, I know that. Heck, Pentecost probably knew it, though he only pushed so hard because Becket was one of the few good ones left. I know Raleigh's a decent guy. All my instincts say so. Chuck has those instincts and then some."

"He wants to break what has already formed?"

"I hope not. We talked and Chuck never realized that Raleigh might have trouble identifying the bond as what it is. Though right now the pain he's inflicting on both of them is worse than a break."

There had been incidents where soul bonds couldn't be maintained. Sometimes nature got it only partially right. Sometimes personalities clashed.

Herc didn't think it was like that with his son. Chuck and Raleigh might be at each other's throats, but they weren't so different.

If not for Raleigh's loss, the tear in his mind where his brother had once been, he might not just back out of a fight as he had done so often before. Becket was damaged, yes, but not beyond repair. And Chuck was not beyond help either.

"Do you believe we can help them?" Mako asked.

"You Drifted with him, Mako," Herc said evenly. "You were in his head. You tell me."

Herc knew that two Drifts didn't mean they knew each other's deepest secrets, but things leaked. Mako had been hit by the full force of Raleigh's memories and she had struggled through them. Things would have stayed.

"Raleigh is a strong man, Marshall. He has survived so much and has retained his sanity. He hurts," she added softly. "A lot. The bond gives him hope and he longs for it. He wants it. He simply cannot understand Chuck's rejection."

Herc nodded. "Kid never had a good role model in me and Angela. We weren't mates and she wasn't a Shifter."

"A not unheard of combination."

"I know. Soul-bonds are this mystical crap kids grow up thinking is the solution to everything. It's not. It's simply something of old," Herc growled. "Ancient instinct. Civilization couldn't erase it. Shifters are very well able to function without their so-called destined mate. It's not even used for purely biological reasons."

Mako raised a delicate eyebrow, lips twitching a little. Herc chuckled.

"Yeah. Not one of their problems. Their issues are much bigger."

"There have been contrary pairs before."

"They'll make history on their own." Herc shook his head. "It's hard enough to be a triple changer, Mako. Now he also has a potential mate in form of a lone wolf."

"Raleigh is more of a people person than you would think. His loss was… soul shattering, Marshall. He suffered for five years. Guilt and remorse and self-flagellation. He pulled away and still he was among people, working at the Walls."

"I know all that, Mako. I know."

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

"You are stupid to still believe you cannot bond."

Raleigh glanced at Sasha. Her expression wasn't really judgmental, but very close to it. In the past weeks he had gotten to know her and her husband a lot better than probably most people had ever known the Russian pilots.

As distant and unapproachable as they seemed, they had given him an insight.

Mostly as wolves.

It was a pack thing.

"I can't."

"You already have, Raleigh Becket," Aleksis rumbled. "You have been bonding all the time, putting stress on your mind and soul."

He was a man of very few words, but when he spoke, it was important. He and Sasha communed almost solely over the bond they shared. It was an intense primary connection, one that had hit home from the moment they had met. The Drift hadn't actually been able to add any more intimacy or depth.

Some people were simply lucky, Raleigh had mused.

"It was not luck," Sasha had told him evenly when he had once remarked on it. She hadn't elaborated.

Their connection showed in every move, every shift toward the other, the way they seemed to take cues from their other half, how they talked without words.

Raleigh felt the pang of loss every time that was driven home. And the flicker of dying hope that maybe he could have at least a fraction of it.

"You linger too much on what has been," Sasha broke into his thoughts. "You won't give the future a chance."

"I can't force it on him, Sasha. I'm living with a hole in my mind already! I don't want one in my soul, too."

"Why do you believe it will be force that is needed?"

"Because we fight. Every time we meet. He's rejecting me, but he won't break the bond. And I know I'm not what he wanted. I'm brain damaged. The shields are the best option."

Sasha snorted. "Do you really believe that? Do you think the Hansen beta won't just break away if he doesn't want you? You think of him so indecisive, weak and afraid?"

Did he?

Really?

Raleigh had no idea.

"We have known the beta long enough. He is powerful. He won't back down."

"I noticed."

"Nothing much after that," Aleksis growled with disapproval.

Yeah, probably.

"How long has your life been on hold?" she asked.

He stared at her.

"Life goes on, Raleigh. You should, too. The alpha connection is there. It won't go away. The longer you fight, the harder you will go down. Bond shock might kill you."

They left him alone after that.

Raleigh felt like a total mess.

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

They still fought.

Heavily.

It was like a knee-jerk reaction. Something neither man could control.

Insults and barely veiled anger on Chuck's part, stoic silence and cold pain on Raleigh's. Both men were working through things, but not in a way that helped anyone understand or assist them.

If Chuck made an effort to convince Raleigh that they had a connection, Herc couldn't see it. It was like a switch was thrown when the two men met. Chuck was reasonable, a professional, completely at ease and confident in what he was. The moment Raleigh entered the room, hackles rose, the wolf pushed forward, and he snarled something at the other man.

Raleigh would take the bait or he would just not respond at all, which had Chuck get into an even worse mood.

Becket spent his time holed up in the science department, working with Gottlieb on the Anteverse model, answering whatever the other man asked.

Sometimes two Siberian wolves would curl up around him, their very presence calming his mind.

Pack.

It helped with the nightmares. A lot. A whole lot.

XOXOXO

It was only getting worse, despite Herc's attempts to intervene. He had yet to pull alpha rank, but he was getting close to it. His patience was coming to an end.

Aleksis came to him, dark eyes serious, a low rumble deep in his chest.

"They won't resolve it," he only said.

Herc nodded.

"They both hurt. It hurts the pack."

"Not sure what I want to do won't hurt even more," he said.

Aleksis' bushy brows drew down. "It can't hurt more."

Yeah, probably.

tbc...


	6. Chapter 6

Chuck watched the other Ranger depart, feeling a swirl of emotions. Part of him cheered at the victory, but a tiny voice lamented about his harmful behavior. Emotions were coming from Raleigh, none of them happy, and he tried to pull up a shield.

It was threadbare at least.

He was longing for something instinctually that his logical side wanted to have no part of. Well, not completely.

He didn't need a mate. If he acknowledged the bond, the PPDC would pair him up with Raleigh in a Jaeger.

If there was one thing Chuck reacted aversely to it was force. Push him into a role and he would balk and fight back.

His co-pilot was his alpha; no one else!

But his alpha was also the new Marshall of Hong Kong. There was barely a chance that Herc would get into a Jaeger again, even if the Kaijus returned.

No one took out any bets that the Breach was forever closed. The world had to rebuild itself, but they were also highly aware that shutting down the Jaegers, closing the last Shatterdome, would be foolish.

So Hong Kong was still running.

So two restored Jaegers would come in from Oblivion Bay in maybe two or three months, the finalizing touches to be made in Hong Kong.

So Chuck would pilot again – and he didn't want someone else in his head.

_But I have him in my soul already_, he thought numbly.

And Raleigh hurt. He hurt Chuck, he hurt himself.

_We would be perfectly Drift compatible. But he has Mako and I got my dad. No one else. I want no one else!_

That evil little voice that he thought had to be the bond whispered to him.

_Really no one else? Really, Chuck? You have grown accustomed to Raleigh. You feel him with you, even though he won't give you the same benefits. You want him. You want his body. You can already feel echoes of his soul. Why do you fight?_

Chuck found himself outside the Shatterdome's Jaeger Bay, staring out over the ocean, the vast landing pad behind him, the endless sea in front of him. The weather was rather good today; no rain, no fog, the wind moderate. It was still cool and the darkness was already falling.

_Fuck_, he thought. He was so utterly fucked.

Chuck had won that last argument - one of many. Raleigh had only silently glared, turned away and walked off. But now, afterwards, the feeling of triumph had slowly dissipated into one of emptiness.

He felt worse after each argument, but he couldn't bring himself to react any other way to Becket than that. He struck out and always hit; he always hurt and inflicted pain.

He wanted to shatter those shields around Raleigh's soul. He wanted the other man to just feel! Feel what he was doing, what could be, and be sure he would be rejected. Then Chuck could easily break the bond.

But he couldn't.

He felt sick and lost and alone.

XOXOXO

The look the Kaidanovskys shot him was tell-tale. If Chuck didn't know Aleksis so well, he would be running away in terror. The man was a mountain of muscle and intimidation without even trying to be threatening.

Sasha was even worse.

Half her husband's size she wore danger like a second skin. They might both be betas, but any alpha would be given a run for their money if the Kaidanovskys didn't had no respect for them.

And the way they were holding themselves, it was as if the two Shifters had decided Raleigh was… pack.

They protected pack.

And Chuck was on their shit list.

Well, fun.

_Why are we so different?_ he thought desperately. _All the others compliment each other, just we are total opposites._

Aleksis and Sasha shared a common calm center, this absolute serenity, and that fierce fire that burned throughout a fight. They looked like opposites, but they weren't.

Newton and Hermann were so much alike, despite how different they appeared on the outside. Chuck knew there had been fights, and there still ere, but it was only on the outside. The harmony of the soul mate was there.

Not with him and Raleigh. They had to be the first soulmate pair that nature got wrong.

_Nature isn't wrong_, Herc had told him.

In his case, it was. Chuck Hansen wasn't a normal Shifter. He was a triple changer. He wasn't just a wolf. He was also the were-koala, the fuzzy little ball of bad temper, claws and fangs that was as dangerous as the wolf.

And his pack consisted of nothing but him and his alpha.

_Wrong_, an evil little voice whispered. _So very wrong! Sasha and Aleksis, it continued. They accept Herc as their alpha. Two such powerful Shifters and he has their loyalty; not just as the Marshall, no, also as wolves. They could crush him. And they protect Raleigh. Raleigh's part of it, too._

Chuck clenched his hands into fists. Something must be wrong with him. They couldn't ever work together. They were too different! But instead of working it out, they hurt each other.

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

Saving the world from giant monsters and their masters meant that they held a great media interest. Chuck found himself giving interviews, visiting talk shows, answering a million questions about the final mission, about being a Jaeger pilot, about his life and family, about whatever reporters could think of. There were questions about his scars, about whether he could actually drive a Jaeger again, but he fielded those like a pro.

He had been injured before; granted, never this badly. Chuck knew how to handle himself in that situation. And his scars were nothing but superficial anymore anyway.

Sometimes he was accompanied by Mako and Raleigh, who were persons of interest to the world as well. They were bombarded with questions about their partnership, working together, the final battle moments, the Anteverse, the explosion, Raleigh nearly dying, Mako saving his life.

Romance, some papers called it. Destiny. A connection between two Jaeger pilots, born out of fire.

Chuck wanted to be violently sick.

No, they weren't a couple. Mako and Raleigh repeated that over and over, one statement following the next.

Every time Chuck gritted his teeth against the illogical feeling of jealousy.

From the way Mako looked at him, she knew.

XOXOXO

Raleigh's shields were growing more brittle.

Things went through. Things that Chuck felt and that made him want more. He was reacting to the blond in a way that was rather tell-tale.

His own control was waning.

That point was driven home to him when he wanked off in the shower to the image of the blond American. He cursed softly as he came, water washing away the evidence, his lungs heaving big breaths of air.

XOXOXO

There was one memorable occasion where a bunch of Jaeger groupies harassed them right back to the hotel. One girl was rather forward and stole a kiss from Raleigh, which had the tall blond reel back like he had been bitten.

The girl smiled widely. "I love you," she declared. "You're my hero!"

Chuck wanted to pound her into the pavement. Red edged in from the sides. From the way Mako gripped his arm and glared at him, he must have shifted a little.

Yep, claws, he saw. And he probably had the wolf eyes.

"Chuck," she said under her breath, voice intense, a not-so hidden warning in it. "Control."

He hadn't had control issues ever since he had been a teenager. Not for the wolf, not for the were-koala. The Academy had taught him that, too.

Now one man was getting under his skin and destroying that control.

Raleigh's expression was schooled politeness as he drew back from his fan group. He said something the barely legal girl, then walked off into the hotel. She still looked at him with adoring eyes, but appeared somewhat show down.

Chuck still wanted to rip her throat out, claw her face off, just take her out of the equation.

"Either you accept what you have, let it grow and do not try to tear it to pieces, or you will let it go, Chuck Hansen," Mako stated.

With that she followed her co-pilot.

Chuck remained where he was, hands clenched into fists, finger nails too pointy and hard to be human. Then he stalked toward the bar.

The bond was twanging sharply, a fractured but not broken connection. A connection he despised and wanted in one.

XOXOXO

He wasn't quite sober when he fell into bed that night.

Well, early morning.

It numbed him, it gave him a neat little black out.

The next morning was hell, though.

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

Raleigh gulped down some aspirin and sighed, closing his eyes. Damn this headache! The pain had subsided a bit through the pain medication, but it was still there and he had yet to learn how to shut it out completely.

Mako had given him hope. She had told him that what he felt wasn't just an echo of a long-dead past. It wasn't a memory.

It was happening.

He was feeling a fledgling bond.

He might be able to connect to his mate – who was Chuck Hansen.

Who apparently hated the very thought of being bonded… to him.

Who had made it quite clear he despised Raleigh as a candidate.

They had fought against Kaijus, had won, had saved the world, and they were perfectly able to co-exist in a professional environment. Interviews had been smooth and like they had never been rivals of sort.

The moment they were behind closed doors, Chuck shut down and pushed him away.

Raleigh pounded his fist into the wall until his hand bled. The pain in his body couldn't mask the pain in his soul. He stared at the blood as it ran down. He concentrated on it, shutting out all other parts of his mind.

If it had to be this way, then so be it.

There was nothing left to lose for him.

He had fulfilled his job.

The Breach was closed. Humanity, their whole planet, was safe. If there was no relief for him, Raleigh Becket would accept it.

He was alone. Had been alone for over five years, feeling the scars and the loss.

He knew that pain and he could live with it for the rest of his life, however long that life would be.

He had been a fool; believing that it was possible. Raleigh knew there was only one thing to do. He put all he had into a shield, blocking Chuck out entirely. If felt good to be sheltered from the other man's anger again.

Well, it was painful, he had to admit. But it was a good kind of pain... just like his hand.

Raleigh managed to gain control of his emotions and slowly sank down onto the floor. Sightless eyes stared at the opposite wall.

He hadn't really expected to live.

Now he did and with him lived this half-formed connection to someone he hadn't even gotten to know for real.

He truly had a fucked-up life.

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

For several days, Chuck and Raleigh ignored each other aside from when they were interviewed together. They rarely occupied the same general area except in those hours.

Mako's worry was no longer hidden behind a polite mask.

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

The three weeks assigned for the media tour around the world stretched into four and by the end of that month, Mako was ready to kick their asses.

Questions as to their continued partnership as co-pilots for the new Jaeger that would soon be stationed at the Shatterdome were politely but superficially answered. Chuck didn't comment on a possible change in his co-pilot, now that Herc Hansen was officially the Marshall of the only running Shatterdome.

He didn't want another co-pilot.

He didn't want to lose this connection.

But something else was already there, the bond, the place that was an aching darkness inside him.

XOXOXO

He dreamed of being alone in the Conn-Pod at night now.

Every night.

There was the shadow of his father and the presence of his mate.

But his mate had a partner. And he didn't want Raleigh.

Didn't need him.

Right?

XOXOXO

Chuck woke in his third form, pissed off, growling to himself, absolutely cranky.

Rolling around on the bed, he faced the huge window. Outside the sky was gray, stormy, and the weather forecast had warned of thunderstorms and lots of rain.

It was a mirror of what he felt inside. A lot more than the sunny days before.

XOXOXO

It took a while to get the necessary concentration together to shift back to human.

Today wouldn't get any better, he just knew it.

XO

And he was right.

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

They returned to the Shatterdome in Hong Kong, nerves raw, tempers barely under control. The whole media campaign had only made matters worse. They had been too close, the budding connection thrumming between them, and Chuck had pushed it all away.

Raleigh became edgy, easily startled. He looked too pale, his face too sharp, too narrow.

Chuck snapped at everyone and he made more mistakes in practice runs in the virtual Conn-Pod. He pushed people aside. He prowled through the bays and the corridors for hours, ate alone, worked at night at one project or another.

Herc's expression was dark and foreboding, growing worse every day.

Something was about to give.

Soon.

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

Soon was… was coming.

Barriers fell.

Shields started to crumble.

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

It was another quiet night in the lab. The lights were turned down in the unoccupied parts and only a few illuminated tanks shone like eerie beacons in the huge room.

Newton was entering data into his ever-growing data base, now and then taking a bite out of his sandwich. Raleigh had brought it with him when he had wandered into the lab after another outing with Sasha and Aleksis, feeling nicely worn out and mellow. He had turned down their offer o curl up and take a nap with them, even though it had sounded really, really good.

"Y'know, it's a shame, really," Newton commented out of the blue.

Raleigh looked up from where he was browsing an old science journal.

Newton swiveled around in his chair, leg jittering a little. "I'm not a Shifter," he stated out of the blue without adding to his first comment.

Raleigh gave him a patient look, amusement reflecting in a smile. "I know."

The K-scientist nodded. "Yep. For sure. What's the tell for you? Scent? I know some feel their kind, but not the specific Shifter manifestation in general. Could you tell what Mako, Chuck or Herc were when you first met?"

Raleigh laughed softly. "I can recognize wolves. And generally canine, lupine or feline. So yes, I knew what the Hansens were. Mako was a bit more difficult, though she had a feline air about her."

"That's cool, right? To know."

"It is," Raleigh shrugged. "Doesn't help in life, though. Some can tell, some can't."

The leg kept jittering.

It was common knowledge about Shifters that some identified others of their kind, some couldn't. Raleigh knew about Newton because Tendo had briefly mentioned it in some conversation or other. He also knew that the other man was an expert when it came to Shifter biology and genetics.

"Hermann's one. Didn't know that when we met. I mean, we actually never talked in person, just exchanged emails, got along fabulously as colleagues, then had an epic blow-up when we met personally." Newton snorted a little laugh. "Epic and nuclear. Hated each other after ten minutes in the same room."

Raleigh kept his silence. Rumors flew wild about those two. There was no official proclamation that they were together, but everyone kind of knew. Just like everyone had heard about how they were best of enemies and the harshest friends in one.

"We're total opposites. He's introverted, I'm… yeah, well, do I have to explain it?" Newton asked easily, spreading his arms wide. "And he loves his math. It's his baby and everything. He's a genius and he hates anyone contradicting him. Yeah, we blew up in each other's faces. And here we are. Together."

He leaned back, leg taking up the nervous motion again.

"Still working on communication. Being bonded would make it so much easier." Newton shrugged, looking a bit dejected. "I mean, I'm human and humans can't even have a secondary bond. Not even that. And I've tried to find a way. I know his instincts are all there and what if he finds the one meant for him?"

"It's a children's story that the one perfect mate is out there, waiting for you," Raleigh said gently. "I know Shifters who found their happiness with someone they didn't bond."

Newton looked at him, the eyes behind his large glasses more vulnerable than Raleigh had ever seen before.

"When he told me he's a Shifter, y'know, I was so excited. I wanted to see his alternate form. He refused and I kept needling him until he did. He's a painted dog." He laughed softly, his left hand brushing back and forth over his right lower arm. Over the Kaiju tattoos. "African wild dog. Painted. I'm…" He gestured at the colors on his skin. "And he's a painted dog. He can run in that shape. He's beautiful, Raleigh. Really beautiful. And I so wish I could be that person for him, the one who understands his soul instinctively, who can touch him like no one can. But I'm not. Somewhere there is someone who is. And they might meet. Children's stories or not."

"You can reject a bond," Raleigh said and felt something inside of him clench painfully.

Fuck.

Newton shook his head. "How can you push away something that means so much to you?"

The pilot felt his breath catch in his throat at the thought. The shield he had erected was under constant attack. It hurt to maintain it, needed maintenance, a conscious effort.

Chuck didn't want this; he couldn't… wouldn't force the issue.

"Drifting with Hermann was… amazing. Sure, there was a Kaiju in the middle, and doesn't that sound like some bad porn, but it was… I think it was like a brief bond." Newton scrubbed a hand over his already wildly tousled hair. "Not that I would know about that. I mean, I'm a Non. But maybe it was close enough. Why would he reject that in a mate to be with me?"

"Because it is you, you idiot," a sharp voice startled them.

Well, Raleigh had been aware of another presence. His senses had already included Hermann into the tight circle of pack-not-pack.

Gottlieb was leaning on his cane, mouth pulled into a thin line of disapproval, eyes boring into Newton.

"I met my possible mate already."

Newton's eyes were wide, mouth opening and closing in a silent exclamation. Raleigh's brow furrowed as he took in the stiff line of Hermann's body, the white-knuckled grip he had on his cane.

"Five years ago. Her name was Vanessa Engel. She worked as a model at the time."

"What?!" Newton finally managed, erupting from the chair. "Wait. Wait a sec! You… you what?!"

Hermann's jaw was clenched, chin jutting out, as he met the irate gaze.

"You met your mate? What happened? Did she reject you? Why did you never tell me? Dude…"

"We parted amiably. We both agreed, like mature adults, that a bond wouldn't be in our best interest. She was already married, was expecting a baby. She was in a very happy, loving relationship. As much as there was a pull, we both knew it wouldn't end in happiness due to our relationships."

Newton's hand were fluttering around. Raleigh felt his stomach clench at the matter-of-fact delivery.

"Sometimes a bond doesn't happen for very clear, logical reasons." Hermann's dark eyes briefly bore into Raleigh. "We might be animals in one form, but we are human. I decide who I want to spend the rest of my life with."

"B-but… Me?" Newton's voice had taken on an almost hysterical quality. "How… Me?!"

"Do you find that so hard to believe, Newton?"

By now Gottlieb had limped closer; close enough to be right inside Newt's personal space.

"I… yeah, kinda, I mean… She was your mate! You don't… you just don't!"

"You are an idiot," Hermann repeated.

It was the time Raleigh decided to leave quietly and give the two men room.

"Ranger Becket?"

He stopped at Hermann's clipped voice and turned.

"Rejecting a bond is your right," the scientist said evenly. "When you have good reason. Vanessa had this reason; I have this reason."

Newton was openly beaming now, though part of him was visibly hopelessly overwhelmed.

"You have to make a decision."

"It's not mine alone."

"I believe by this point, your decision is the only one that's still out."

Raleigh met the steady gaze, then bit his lip and nodded. He left the lab, thoughts whirling.

tbc...


	7. Chapter 7

He had tried to sleep.

He was so incredibly tired and still, whenever he closed his eyes, he couldn't let his mind quiet down enough.

Sometimes he caught a few hours.

Sometimes not even one.

Sometime the nightmares, now fuelled by the unacknowledged bond, came back full force.

XOXO

Raleigh wanted to scream at the suffocating darkness that surrounded his mind. He had thought he had gotten away, but he was mistaken.

He tried to find his way through this nightmare and his body tried to force itself out of its prison.

A voice whispered to him, but it couldn't be heard over in the panic his mind projected. His body wanted to react by fighting, but he was too weak.

His breathing pattern changed; it became rapid. He was beginning to find it hard to get the air he needed into his lungs.

A hand touched his face and he couldn't help but jerk away from it. The voice began to talk to him then, calling his name and telling him that he was going to be fine, that he was here with him now.

His mind finally forced the scream to leave his body. His pain filled form began to fight. He couldn't stop it. It was more a reaction than a request. He wanted it to stop but it wouldn't.

Hands gripped his face and held it tight. A voice began to whisper in his ear, but he couldn't calm down; the fear was too great. He struggled even harder. The hands still held his head in a vice-like grip and finally words filtered through.

His body went limp and he tried to force his eyes open. It was an effort. The blurry image that greeted him turned into face.

XOXO

"Raleigh."

Aleksis' voice was deep, a rumble coming from his barrel chest.

"Hey," Raleigh replied. His voice was raspy, rough, like he had screamed for hours.

Maybe he had.

"This is hurting the pack," the other man stated. "It is destroying you."

Raleigh blinked and sat up. He scrubbed his hands over his face, tired and worn and so dizzy, he felt like throwing up.

"I'm not pack."

There was a snort and Raleigh discovered Sasha in her wolf form. She snarled softly at him and he felt the connection he had formed with the two Russians shiver. It was far from the family pack bond of old, but it was more than he had ever had in the past five years. There had been Shifters at the Walls, but he hadn't wanted to be close to anyone.

"He won't accept it. Being my mate."

"How do you know?"

"I can feel it."

"Do you? Really? All your strength is in your shields." Aleksis' scowl was terrifying. "It will kill your soul. Soon."

Raleigh didn't have to think about it anymore. He wanted this; him. He wanted the closeness, the connection, but it was so much easier to maintain the shields than to risk whatever was left of him.

He wasn't beyond repair, broken in too many places to heal, but it he gave in, he might not come back out alive if everything failed.

He wanted Chuck; contrary, obnoxious, arrogant, egotistical… and underneath it all was someone else. Someone the world didn't get to see.

Aleksis' face was close to unreadable. His hand had found his mate's ruff and he was carding his fingers through the thick fur. Sasha watched Raleigh with pale eyes.

"You want him," the bear of a Shifter rumbled.

"I want him," he answered. "But if… if he rejects the bond, breaks it… I won't come back."

Sasha huffed and her husband smiled imperceptibly. "Life is risk," he only said.

Yeah, it was.

Things were going downhill ever-faster.

The crash was inevitable.

Raleigh wondered if it would be a crash and burn in the end.

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

Chuck was dizzy and felt like packed in wool. His head seemed to be three sizes too large and his body didn't really belong to him.

Coordinating his limbs required an immense effort. He was afraid that he would lose all control with the next step.

His situation was only getting worse, not better.

He felt the shield, felt the weird sensation of a not-there-but-still-there bond and it was driving him insane. He didn't want it, but now that Raleigh had pushed the shield between them, blocked out everything that Chuck had felt from the other man before, Chuck became insanely aware of what he was missing.

Answer: a lot.

He hadn't been aware of how close Becket had already come, how warm he had been this close to Chuck, how comfortable.

He sat in his quarters, staring at the wall, bouncing Max's rubber ball against the metal plating. The dog watched him avidly, waiting for a chance to get his toy.

Chuck smiled at the eager expression and tossed it, watching Max go after it.

Not having Raleigh hurt. Having Raleigh pushed home the fact that he was connecting, bonding, becoming Drift compatible with someone other than his alpha.

But Raleigh was already pack. He felt him, just behind those damned shields, strong and solid, someone he knew he really wanted. He felt him and the Kaidanovskys, and Herc had already accepted them into the pack that was forming in the wake of the Kaiju War.

Max whined and pushed under his hand.

"Yeah, boy," he murmured. "This is a total clusterfuck."

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

Hong Kong hadn't changed much since the Breach had closed. It was still loud. Big and loud, full of intense smells, an endless seeming bustle of people, and bright lights in the darkness.

Newton loved it.

He didn't enjoy the rain, but it was a constant. With the Kaijus the climate had changed. At least in the Pacific coastal region.

Moving through the colorful stalls, the aroma of cooked food wafting around him, Newton couldn't help but smile a little to himself. He was heading straight for the restaurant a level up, taking the slippery steps, glasses already fogged with the steady rain from above. Personally he would have preferred snacking his way through the different stalls, but Hermann was a stickler for chairs and tables with a table cloth, cutlery and plates. And waiters.

He slipped into the building and shook off the rain, though his hair was sopping wet. Newton smiled at the waitress.

"I'm meeting someone." He caught sight of his partner. "And there he is already. Thanks."

She still accompanied him to the table and he ordered lemonade.

"You are late," Gottlieb said, voice just this side of peeved.

"Sorry. Got lost shopping."

Hermann frowned, eyes on the menu, though Newton doubted he was reading it. "You still spend too much time and money on procuring samples that could very well be faked and are still very over-prized."

"The Marshall gave me his okay, Herm. Chill. And Hannibal's giving us a very good rate. He gets to run his business, we get our samples. I even got some brain stem samples, marrow, and several gallons of spinal fluid."

Gottlieb looked up and grimaced.

That was when the waitress returned and they ordered.

Hermann's eyes wandered over the other patrons, then lingered on the rainy view out the grimy window.

Ever since the Drift Newton understood a lot more about his partner, and ever since the revelation about Vanessa Engel, he was in complete and utter shock when he thought about that particular piece of unexpected news.

Hermann had broken the bond to his mate.

For him.

Newton couldn't understand it. He, the one who had written countless papers on Shifters, on mates and bonds and everything in between, was stumped when it came to Dr. Hermann Gottlieb. His polar opposite. Absolute opposite in so many things, right down to the fact that Newton was a Non and Hermann was a Shifter.

"You're thinking again," came the mildly chiding voice.

"Uh, I always think?" Newt deflected.

Hermann grimaced. "That is still open for discussion. But you are thinking about Vanessa again."

"Your mate."

"Yes."

And how could he talk about it so easily? Like she was no one but an acquaintance? Raleigh was Chuck's mate and the man was a wreck because of the unacknowledged connection between them. Then again, neither man had broken it yet.

Hermann had.

Hermann had broken a bond!

"Why do you find it so hard to believe?" his partner asked evenly.

"Because she was your mate? Maybe because a mate is valuable? Maybe because she was the one meant for you?"

Gottlieb pursed his lips. His expression clearly stated 'Why me?', closely followed by 'So this is the expert on Shifters?'.

"Do I have to remind you of your own articles on the subject of Shifter bonds and mates?"

"No, of course not, but she was yours, Hermann. Yours!"

The waitress brought their food and Newton nodded his thanks, ordering a refill for his lemonade, then his eyes bore into Hermann's.

The other man was studying his dumplings and mixed vegetables.

"She was happy in her relationship," Hermann simply said. "She was almost due with their first child." He looked up. "And I was in my own relationship." He raised an eyebrow.

Newton twirled his fork in his glass noodles. They had talked about it already. Still, his brain did not want to let go of it.

"Happy?" he wanted to know, voice too quiet for his own liking.

"Nothing has changed since the last time I answered the question. Yesterday." The brown eyes were warmer now, the smile, though small, very real. "Yes, Newton, I am happy with you."

"Cool." Newton shoved a forkful of food into his mouth.

Hermann's smile grew.

They returned to their food, Newton talking a mile a minute about his latest discoveries concerning Kaiju physiology. Hermann listened, nodded, sometimes threw in a remark here or there, until dessert arrived. Newton was too busy licking honey and sugar off his fingers to talk; but he tried.

"You are disgusting," Gottlieb muttered.

Newton grinned. "And you love me."

"I wouldn't go that far."

His grin only widened and he stuffed the last sweet roll into his mouth.

'Love. Me' he mouthed. 'Herm.'

Gottlieb studiously ignored him.

XOXO

They left not much later. The restaurant had the air of a fast food place. People came and went constantly, the tables that were done with their food leaving quickly as the waitresses asked politely if they wanted more or wanted to pay.

The rain had stopped.

Wandering through the damp streets, Newt found that watching Hermann was a sight all of its own.

"What are you doing?" the Shifter finally asked.

"You're scenting," he stated. "And listening. Doggy things. You're not usually doing that." Newton smiled a little. "You're getting into the groove, huh?"

Hermann scoffed, limping faster toward the pick-up point where a shuttle bus was going to the Shatterdome at an hourly rate.

Newton hurried to catch up, lightly bumping his shoulder. "Dude, if you're getting more in touch with your inner canine that's great. That's you. You're a Shifter."

"I know what I am, Geiszler!"

And as always it was a subject where Newton had to tread lightly.

"You're reacting to the Marshall."

"I know that, too!"

They stopped near the bus sign. There was no shuttle yet.

"What would be so bad about letting go? Once in a while? Just you and me?"

Hermann scowled at him, knuckles white where he grabbed his cane. Newton leaned in a little more, side to side, feeling the tension from his partner.

"I love your other form," he said, voice soft and low. "You know that. I love everything about you. You're happy as a dog."

Gottlieb huffed, refusing to look at him.

He was saved by the bus that stopped half a minute later and Newton let it go.

XOXO

That night he wasn't surprised when the elegant, slender African wild dog crawled into his bed, nosing gently at him. Newton made a happy, content noise and wrapped an arm around the warm, furry shape.

Tattooed skin against painted fur.

XOXO

He woke up to a naked, very human Hermann Gottlieb.

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

Mako had seen a lot more of Raleigh the wolf than ever before. Her Drift partner had started to roam the Shatterdome at night in his lupine form, a gray-white shadow almost lost in the gigantic building.

The Kaidanovskys either met up with him or followed the loner like two gigantic shadows. Both were still not back to their old strength, their injuries well-hidden and not talked about, but they healed at a good, steady pace.

Mako knew it was getting serious when Raleigh didn't show up for breakfast one morning; when she found him curled up in his quarters, on his bed, snout buried in his tail, barely reacting.

She knew it wouldn't end well.

As she walked out of the room she caught sight of Aleksis and Sasha.

Their faces were as always almost unreadable, but their eyes reflected worry.

XOXO

It was the day Herc finally acted, fed up with looking at the two men as they hurt each other, and pulled rank.

Alpha rank.

Because Raleigh was one of his pack.

It was no longer just family, the Hansens. Not just one bond mate. No, the pack had acquired new members.

There was Mako Mori, who didn't even shift into anything remotely lupine. Her element was the water and she loved it, lived it, was elegant, fast and free in it.

There was Newton Geiszler, who was human through and through; a Non. And with him came Hermann Gottlieb, cranky, a genius, refusing to acknowledge that he was able to shift into a form that was less handicapped. He rarely showed himself four-legged. If not for the accidental meeting one evening, Herc wouldn't even know what the other looked like.

Tendo Choi, a man he had known for so many years, who was a calm, dependable LOCCENT officer and a steady friend. A man whose ancestry had Shifters but who could only manifest a few traits. Full body transformation was impossible for him to achieve.

Sasha and Aleksis, who had shown up in his pack as betas, strong betas, and had accepted him without a problem; not just as the Marshall but also as their alpha. He knew they had shadowed Raleigh, had made sure the other wolf wasn't about to throw himself off the pier.

And then there was Raleigh himself.

Pack, like all of them.

Yes, Herc pulled rank when he walked into the Ranger's quarters, looking at the bundle of misery.

He rumbled softly, eyes already those of the wolf, feeling the shift wanting to take.

So he let it.

XOXO

Raleigh's ears twitched and he raised his head abruptly as he felt the powerful alpha change shape. Herc as a human was inspiring respect already. He had a kind of quiet authority that people, Nons and Shifters alike, deferred to. The wolf was all that and with it a lot more to another wolf Shifter. He was the alpha; he was balance and power and leadership. He had proven himself to those who were his pack.

Raleigh almost breathed a whine when the massive, ginger-colored wolf looked at him. Those gray-blue eyes were intense, the golden ring around the iris standing out, giving Herc a penetrating look. He was larger than Raleigh, though not by much, appearing sinewy, powerful, lithe.

And then Herc easily jumped onto the bed with him, nosing at the gray-white head. Something inside Raleigh unfurled, drawn to the alpha, his alpha, and he started to relax. Herc lay down beside the other wolf, resting his head on Raleigh's neck, nuzzling him gently.

::Talk to me::

The voice was deep, resonating inside his head, the timbre as gravelly as when Herc was human, and Raleigh almost forgot to breathe. That voice and the physical contact was overpowering. It was touching something inside his very soul.

He had been alone for so long, he was craving this. It weakened his resolve, made his shields even more brittle.

::W…what?::

::You are pack:: Herc told him. ::My pack. You were never beyond becoming pack, Raleigh. I've felt you for a while now::

The hope was almost painful. Then,

::Chuck and I aren't bonded::

::You are, though you both have done everything in your power to stop it. But you alpha bonded. A primary connection. And you are stubborn and good at hurting each other. Talk to me, Raleigh::

He closed his eyes, letting the new old feeling of family, of pack, of an alpha, wash over him. He hadn't been part of this for far too long. With his mother's death, his alpha had died. His father had left, broken because of losing his mate. His sister had disappeared. There had been only him and Yancy, two betas supporting each other.

Drift compatible.

One of the best teams out there.

And in the end there had been only him.

Raleigh hadn't dared to hope for a new pack, and he hadn't believed it possible. The scars were not an issue all of a sudden.

None of them.

Herc waited, giving him time. He was still very close, a powerful presence that radiated strength. It was a kind of strength Raleigh hadn't felt for a very long time and it eased more and more of that tension he had felt for so long.

The other wolf nudged him gently.

::I didn't think we would survive. That I would… I didn't think I'd get out alive::

::But you did get out::

::Yeah::

::And you are as stubborn and emotionally retarded as my son::

Raleigh gave a little huff of a laugh.

::And like him you lack faith::

::He doesn't want me and I couldn't feel him all too clearly. The neurological overload messed that up::

::He wants you::

::Not that I could tell::

::He's a contrary little bastard and you're too torn to make sense of it all:: the alpha stated matter-of-fact, the cold, hard truth in every word.

Raleigh winced. ::Never figured I'd find anyone who was this close to me without the Drift. Without being… my brother::

::You two are idiots::

::I know::

Herc butted his head against Raleigh's. ::Then talk. Let it happen::

::Talking's not a good idea. It ends… badly::

Herc snorted. ::You don't say. You two are so close to breaking apart, you won't survive for much longer. I won't stand by and watch my pack fall to pieces, This is my one and only warning and the last chance you have, Becket. Man up and face your fears, let the bond take root and heal you. You are pack, understand?::

Raleigh glanced at him, feeling a warmth at the word 'pack' that hadn't been there before. He could feel the tendrils forming between him and the other wolves. Sasha and Aleksis were already like pack to him and Herc… yes, he was the alpha. Raleigh had slid into this with his eyes open and his soul shielded, but he had become part of something.

Pack was strength and protection, sure. It also meant another kind of safety. It meant balance and stability, something he hadn't had in a very long time.

Herc licked a long stripe over his cheek and eye, making the other wolf snort and pull back a little.

::You're pack, Raleigh Becket. My pack. Mine. So is my son. Deal with it::

With that the alpha rose and padded out of the room. If a tech was surprised to see the giant, ginger wolf, no one batted an eye at it.

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

Raleigh had left his quarters, mind whirling and finally ended up in one of the labs that had fallen into disuse. Herc's words had been running around in his head all night and not even the jog around the track had helped.

Nothing did.

He was fading, the shields getting harder and harder to uphold, though he didn't even know if he could actually take them down if he had to.

He was almost getting used to this strange feeling that always accompanied him, the pressure behind his eyes and the empty aching sensation in his chest.

He had told the Marshall the truth: he hadn't expected to live, to get out of this mission alive. Save the world at all costs.

They had saved it, losing so many good people, but Raleigh had made it out alive.

He felt the exhaustion, mentally as well as physically. He was at the end of his emotional rope. The feeling of loss and emptiness inside of him had only grown stronger.

Herc was right.

It had to end.

Now.

And someone had to act the grown-up. Raleigh felt ill-equipped to force the issue, to watch it all shatter and fall to pieces, hoping for the best, hoping for them to heal.

He took in a deep breath.

He had faced Kaijus. He had gone down the Breach, through the Throat, had looked into an alien, surreal world; and had blown it up. Ready to die.

Now he was about to step into something equally unknown, surrender himself, his very soul.

Steeling himself, Ranger Raleigh Becket went in search for the man who could be the only one to ever be as close to him as his brother had been in the Drift.

It wasn't really hard.

He knew where Chuck was. He could feel it. The pull, the attraction on so many levels, the want and need, and the pain present between them.

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

The last twenty-four hours had been the most miserable of his life so far. Chuck had actually zoned out more than once, losing minutes, and then almost an hour.

It was when he found himself sitting on the floor, in his koala shape, clothes everywhere and mostly torn, that Chuck knew thing were serious.

Really serious.

Driven by a restlessness he couldn't explain, he had left his quarters and prowled around aimlessly, finally ending up on one of the old, abandoned living quarters levels that had been locked as the Shatterdome was emptying out; just before the PPDC had almost closed them down completely.

Chuck became aware of a tingling feeling, similar to the one he had felt when he had first seen Raleigh in the Shatterdome.

And then he saw him. Tall, blond, handsome, slender figure, boyish good looks… and pale, with dark smudges under his eyes, radiating misery and hope in one.

"Hansen," he said, voice rough.

Chuck stumbled against the wall as the shields he had so painstakingly erected started to crumble.

Raleigh's presence was overwhelming.

"What do you want?" Chuck managed.

"It's no longer a matter of wanting. I need you. You need me. We're killing each other."

Another wave thrummed along the connection that was strung tight between them.

"It's not like you really want me!" he hissed, all his anger coming through.

Raleigh stepped unsteadily closer to where Chuck was hanging on to the wall to stay upright. Their eyes met and Chuck knew there was no more denying what should have happened months ago.

"You kept those fucking shields up! You pushed me away! You… don't want me, right?!"

"I…" Raleigh swallowed hard. "I didn't think…"

"It wouldn't be the first time, Rah-leigh!" he snapped, defensive, lashing out, the stress translating into fury.

So much pain. So much anger. So much hope and need.

They had come to accept each other as fellow Jaeger pilots, but it had stopped there. Civility had always gone down the drain when the stress hit them, when the bond showed the strain.

Chuck felt the shields crack and crumble, his head swimming, his knees weak. The power of a bond was enormous; one denied and artificially kept apart even more so.

"Raleigh…" he managed.

The other man stared at him, blue eyes wide, vulnerable… suspiciously bright. "I didn't think I could bond," he finally managed. "I didn't think anybody could ever be that close to me. I never wanted to hurt my soulmate, but…"

"But it was me."

"It was never you, Chuck. You are my mate, but it was never your fault."

"We failed at it together," he finally said.

Raleigh raised one slightly trembling hand and, when Chuck didn't do more than tense a little, placed it gently on the Shifter's chest. Chuck stiffened, his eyes growing wide, as he felt something like a small charge course through his body.

"We… do we… I want… God, Chuck, I can't do this anymore," he breathed desperately. "I want this to happen. I need…"

Emotions lay thick between them and they both knew that only one step would turn everything upside down, destroy their old world and create a new one. One step, one action, and things would never be the same.

"I want you."

"Raleigh…"

The plea was there, open and bright, Raleigh vulnerable and close to the edge before him.

Chuck drew a shaky breath. He wanted this, too. He wanted this man. He didn't think there was a time he hadn't wanted him deep down on that primal, carnal level.

The last shield went down. His whole world collapsed and then realigned itself.

Warmth. Power. Emotions he couldn't place. Happiness. Soul light. Soul warmth. The connection between them, meaning… meaning life… meaning companionship… meaning… meaning… no loneliness.

He shuddered when the emotional tidal wave hit him. Raleigh had an avalanche of emotions finally break free, flooding him. It hurt, it hurt a lot, but it also relieved him of an immense pressure on his mind and soul.

The whispers along the ever-strengthening bond increased, sounding comforting and reassuring.

Chuck's mind struggled to make sense of the complex situation. He wanted to touch Raleigh.

He wanted to do more than touch Raleigh. All the pent-up lust broke through, mixing with the natural reaction of finally getting what he had yearned for.

It was so weird, so alien, yet so natural, and Chuck's mind was unable to comprehend what instinct was yelling at him to do.

Finally, instinct took over.

He reached out through the link for the first time to touch the other soul. No fear, just... an equal need. He caressed the other half, finding no darkness there, only a suffering equaling his own. He wrapped his arms around the other man's soul.

This was them.

Awareness, knowing about the other, about emotional states of mind, about troubles, about worries, about pain.

This was what being bonded meant.

Not sex. Not so simple that it was merely physical. It was complicated; and so much more. Care. Worry. Pushing if necessary, leaving it be if the matter called for it. Being strong for both of them, giving in if he had to, but never submit. It was support and love, it was everything, and it was nothing a Non could ever understand.

They were equals; they were both dominant and submissive. They were one and still individuals.

Perfection.

"I want this," he whispered. "You."

tbc...


	8. Chapter 8

Raleigh shivered in the embrace around his soul.

There was a warm sensation running through his body. He felt Chuck sigh in contentment and something centered itself in Raleigh.

True perfection.

There was no sound but the other man's soft breaths for a long time. Closing his eyes, concentrating on that sensation inside him, Raleigh was almost able to pinpoint where the link between them was located. Like a solid anchor point inside him, just there, just like that, and not going anywhere. Thinking of it, thinking of caressing the presence, drew a startled gasp out of Chuck.

::It's okay...:: Chuck breathed shakily, reassuring his mate as Raleigh wanted to draw back. ::Like that. Just like that. It's okay. Want this. Want you. Sorry. About everything::

Raleigh touched him again, wrapped his self around the other soul, touching.

::Thank you:: he managed, unconsciously using the same connection Chuck just had.

And then something arched across their souls, entwining them, erasing scars, healing darkness.

::I'm not going away. Ever::

XOXO

Chuck's heart seemed to stop, his... his body stopped, then he relaxed. A warmth permeated him, warmer than any fire, spreading through every fiber of his being.

He hadn't been aware of what he had missed; not in this detail.

It was like Drifting, and not like Drifting. He had to let go, like in a neural handshake, but it wasn't a connection made by a machine. It was organic. It was natural. It was there for them, the part of them that made them who they were, the part that the Nons didn't have. Not to control a Jaeger, to fight, to bear the neural load. To balance themselves.

It was so much better than he had ever imagined it to be.

More than sexual.

More than anything.

More than Drifting.

::Chuck...:: Raleigh whispered, emotions running wild.

Chuck almost lost himself in the sea of affection, warmth.

This was a soul bond. This was what it was like to be a part of something more than yourself, greater than your partner - one person inside the other. Two people forming one.

"I want..."

He wanted more. His body wanted more. He couldn't hide it. Not anymore.

Chuck smirked and there was that old, teasing fire in his eyes.

"Not going to be platonic, hm?" he teased.

Raleigh just pushed him back against the wall, lips on his.

The kiss, as kisses went, wasn't the angels singing, bells ringing kind of kiss. It wasn't fumbling or stumbling. It wasn't perfect or breath-stealing. It was a contact of lips on lips, and it was the beginning and the completion of events that had started so long ago.

It was a kiss that became another kiss, and another, that transformed from close-mouthed to tongue-involved.

Soulmates didn't have to become lovers, but the couples who formed a platonic relationship were rare.

Incredibly rare.

The pull was there before the souls met. The attraction worked in their favor. Sexual epiphanies happened when souls met.

Finally they came up for air, panting.

Chuck ran his hands over Raleigh's body. It was wonderful, intoxicating, and it was bittersweet. It was purely Raleigh in his openness, his silky feel, where he brushed over exposed skin, his delightful warmth, and it was his pain and desperation and own damaged soul.

His hands slid under the t-shirt, encountering more of that warm skin and the bump of electrical burn scars. Chuck had his own scars, far less elegant in their appearance, just as painful.

::Do you want this?:: Raleigh asked.

He wanted to slap the other man upside the head. Did he want this? Hell, yes! He wanted it all. He had been dreaming about this. He had spent time and again trying to deny his body the release, then caved and gotten himself off.

::You have to ask?::

Yes and no.

::Chuck…::

::I don't hate your furry ass, Rah-leigh. I'm not some masochistic idiot who loves hate-sex. I hated the idea of being forced into the Drift with someone else::

Truth. Nothing but the truth. All of it arching between them. It was like Drifting an then again not. There was no artificial connection that melded them into one mind. This was natural. This was what their kind was born with and found in a select few.

::They would've jumped on this, got us into a Jaeger::

Separating Chuck from his co-pilot of five years. His own alpha.

::I'd never have taken this from you:: Raleigh said openly, voice painfully soft.

Chuck kissed him, deeply, wanting so much more. ::Not you. The PPDC. We're perfectly compatible. They wouldn't have taken no for an answer. Pentecost was already gunning for that. Get Mako out of the line of fire. If not for the fact that he didn't want to inflict his mind on hers, he would have pushed you and me into Striker together. Or placed me into Gipsy::

::I would never let them. You're Herc's co-pilot::

"He's mine, has-been," Chuck growled, eyes filled with a teasing light. "I'm no one's co-pilot."

And somehow, now, it didn't seem such a hardship to imagine Raleigh with him.

The kiss grew into more, skin sliding against skin, and Chuck reveled in the smoothness, the slender, warm form, the strong, lithe muscles on display.

His fingers played over the scars running horizontally over Raleigh's left side – four lines – exploring the precise angles of the ones on his chest, on his left upper arm.

The result of a fight to the death.

Of back-feed burning a pilot's skin as the Jaeger's arm was torn off.

A reminder of death and loss.

I want this, floated between them. So badly.

He felt Raleigh, full body contact, and it seemed to throw him off balance and complete him in one.

His world shrunk down to one particular sensation, one feeling, one need.

Raleigh. Kissing Raleigh. Touching him. Having him to himself.

No shields between them.

No more barriers between their souls.

No fear, no pain, no harshness.

Just them.

Everything else was… unimportant.

XOXO

The bond was stabilizing.

XOXO

When Raleigh sank to his knees in front of him, taking his time to open the too tight pants, playful and hungry in one, Chuck nearly lost it.

With the first touch of slightly chapped lips to his dick, Chuck did groan a curse.

He hadn't gotten any for too long.

Raleigh for much longer.

XOXO

It was almost embarrassing how fast he spilled into the hot, sucking mouth, breathing hard, watching the blond lick over his sensitive head.

Raleigh looked up, blue eyes bright and hot, still playing with the semi-hard erection in his hands. Chuck wanted to curse him and worship him in one.

"My turn," he managed roughly. "With a bed."

Raleigh glanced at the empty, bare quarters, not even a mattress on the frame. "My quarters?" he offered.

Chuck shook his head. "I got a better idea."

Raleigh's tension, his need for release, his lust for more, was like a living, breathing thing between them. It was powerful, all-encompassing, taking away rational thought and replacing it with raw instinct.

Chuck tried not to look at the visible tent in Raleigh's pants, but it was difficult.

"Fuck it," he snarled and took a handful, pushing his mate back against the wall for a quick release that had Raleigh groan in relief.

Hands down his mate's pants, spilling inside. They had gotten from a quick blowjob to a dirty handjob in no time flat.

It was a mess.

Chuck grinned, unrepentant. "This should hold."

Raleigh glowered half-heartedly, but he didn't comment on the fact that he felt Chuck's own hunger, still there and raging unabated.

"You still owe me a bed, Hansen."

"I owe you a lot more," he promised, voice a growl.

The connection was wide open and bouncing emotions back and forth, together with all kinds of thought snippets. This would pass, but for now they needed a place where no one would disturb them. Where they could test out their new connection, give the soul-bond time to strengthen.

XOXO

They ended up in one of the upper level apartments that had not been stripped and shipped off to somewhere. It came fully equipped, though the kitchen was empty.

Chuck shot off a quick message to his pack alpha, then all his attention was on Raleigh Becket.

His mate.

His soon to be very naked, already very enticing mate.

XOXO

It was almost obscenely pleasurable and arousing to have Chuck push him onto the bed and crawl over his lap.

The bond was still wide open, projecting the Shifter's hunger and want.

::All of you:: Raleigh murmured. ::Want that::

The kiss was hard, demanding, needy.

Chuck's intent was clear and Raleigh had no objections.

It was almost too much to bear, to have that talented mouth and those strong fingers work him relentlessly.

Chuck was very fixated on having him come and come hard.

With his long dry spell, Raleigh did; with a groan of relief that was almost a sob, hands digging into the mattress, pushing into the hot mouth and feeling teeth scrape lightly over his cock.

"Fuck," he breathed.

Chuck was above him, lips reddened, wet. His eyes glowed with the wolf and he leaned down to give Raleigh small, biting kisses.

"Want you," he growled. "So, so much."

Raleigh curled a hand around the muscular neck, pulled his partner into a long, intense kiss that was as dirty as the prior encounter had been, and he felt the hard evidence of Chuck's hunger against his hip. He wrapped his other hand around that hardness, squeezing playfully.

It got him a growl, teeth nipping at his lips, at his chin.

Raleigh bent a leg and Chuck slotted himself more comfortably against the other man, trailing biting kisses along the smooth neck.

::Been a while:: he murmured.

Raleigh grunted. It had been five years. ::Not going to break::

::Not gonna hurt you::

And he didn't.

Preparations were meticulous – and driving Raleigh insane. He was pushing back onto those fingers inside him, snarling, eyes shifting.

"Chuck…"

Chuck silenced him with a kiss.

::Now!::

::Pushy::

But his mate slid into him in one long, hard stroke.

Sensations sparked over the bond, nearly drowning out rational thought. Chuck groaned, caught between the backwash from Raleigh, the feeling of tight heat, and his own surging hunger.

Raleigh felt it.

Intensely.

Like it was his own.

There was no pain, no fear, just the pleasure, the fullness. He moved with each stroke, pushed back, fingers digging into the hard muscles, encouraging, wanting more.

For all his hunger and need, Chuck wasn't coming as quickly as before and he pushed Raleigh into almost getting completely hard once more.

Both felt loose and raw and oversensitive and it was too much and not enough and too soon and not soon enough.

Emotions flowed together.

Sensations became mirrored by the other mind.

When the climax hit him, Raleigh's groan was almost like a release of its own. The incessant slide, the pressure, the hard form pushing against him, had him want more while simultaneously cursing the other man for his teasing play.

"Chuck," he groaned, batting at the fingers around his flagging dick.

He shuddered in pleasure when Chuck withdrew, half-collapsing over him. Raleigh wrapped his arms around him, feeling scars under his fingertips, feeling heated skin and sweat.

The bond was alive, thrumming with the echoes of their release.

"Fuck," Chuck groaned into his shoulder.

Raleigh chuckled, biting down on the first thing that came to mind. Since the shields were down, Chuck picked up on it anyway. He snarled something, but most of it was lost against Raleigh's shoulder.

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

Raleigh woke slowly.

Huh, must have dozed off after all, he thought fuzzily.

He was wrapped up in warmth, human warmth.

Breathing, living warmth.

There was a little shift, muscles moving under skin, and a mumble as Chuck woke. A hand stroked over his head and Raleigh involuntarily made a little noise of approval.

"Good morning," Chuck whispered into his ear, then kissed the warm lobe.

The contact of damp lips against his skin had Raleigh shiver. It felt so right. It felt perfect. It felt… absolutely… unmistakably… positively…

He nuzzled the soft throat, kissing him gently, not trying to arouse. Chuck's fingers carded through his hair, stroked and calmed him more than any words could. His presence alone was healing the holes in Raleigh's soul.

He turned his head and looked into expressive green eyes.

Chuck smiled. "Awake?"

"No," he mumbled.

Warm, gentle emotions sloshed back and forth between them. Undefined, unclear, but still understood. Raleigh sighed; contend.

"I see. Coffee?"

"You make?"

Chuck's grin was tell-tale. "And here I thought you were a morning person."

He was and he wasn't. Throughout the war he would jump out of bed at an alert, ready to fight at a moment's notice, adrenaline in his system.

When he had worked at the Walls, Raleigh had taken to getting up early, eating alone, enjoying the little moments of life he still had. Like a sunrise. Like watching snow flakes drift from the leaden sky.

Yeah, it had been miserable more often than not.

Now… now he felt warm and mellow. Very, very mellow.

"Think again."

Chuck laughed. "Strong?"

"Very."

The living warmth rolled away from him and Raleigh curled up on the spot of mattress Chuck had vacated, soaking up the left-over warmth. He heard the rustle of clothes, then there was silence.

He felt utterly relaxed, inside and out. It was something he hadn't felt in ages.

Five years. Five very long years.

Chuck was healing the wounds, had taken the pieces and put them back together again.

It had been so easy in the end.

After months of fighting, of denial and stupidity, it had been easy.

His shields had crumbled like brittle paper in a gust of wind. In their stead was the solid presence of the bond.

Raleigh wanted to laugh, he felt so relieved, light, carefree.

XOXO

The smell of coffee was strong in the kitchen and Raleigh followed it like a scent trail. Chuck was standing next to the kitchen counter as he walked in, dressed in black sweat pants, a black t-shirt and bare footed.

"Where?" Raleigh asked sleepily.

"Mess hall. Thermos," was Chuck's equally short reply.

"Huh."

Okay, so he didn't really have his brain about him right now. Not at all.

Chuck's smile grew and Raleigh found he really loved those dimples. The other Shifter held the coffee out like an offering to appease a god and Raleigh had to grin at the thought.

And damn, did he look good in the black outfit.

Chuck smiled knowingly.

After the first nip almost scorched his tongue, Raleigh settled on just inhaling the aroma and waiting for the scalding brew to cool.

"I'm a triple."

He looked up, blinking slowly. The caffeine hadn't even started to work yet. "What?"

"I'm a triple changer."

Another slow blink. His brain was still busy with everything else that had changed, with the feel of the connection between them, the ease and warmth. With being relaxed and… almost like before.

This… this wasn't really a shocking revelation. This was Chuck Hansen. The man was a collection of contradictions. Barely twenty-two but a seasoned Jaeger pilot with almost seven years of experience under his belt. Thirteen kills. The youngest, the best, the most arrogant. A fighter, a survivor, but also more sensible than anyone would ever guess.

Arrogance born out of insecurity.

His soulmate. The man he had fought against and with right from the very start. The man who had wanted him and still hated that want.

The man Raleigh loved. Had fallen in love with and pushed away.

He was so many more things and Raleigh was looking forward to discovering everything.

"Okay."

Chuck stared at him; hard. His brows had drawn together and there was a deep line between his eyes. "Okay?"

"Sure." Raleigh shrugged.

It wasn't like being a triple changer was rare. True, he had never met one. And he had no idea what it meant. Right now, he didn't care.

"You don't want to know what I am?" Chuck asked.

"Nope." The blond drank from his coffee, smiling brightly at Chuck when he lowered the mug. "I figure you'll either tell me or you won't."

"Ya think?" the other man challenged.

"Yep."

Chuck pulled his t-shirt over his head and stripped out of his pants before Raleigh had emptied his mug, and he shifted.

Into a large timber wolf, almost as big as his father, with a narrow, dark brown stripe on his back; the rest of him was a deep ginger. His green eyes were filled with laughter. Raleigh had never seen the wolf form before, but before he could react the wolf changed again.

Into something smaller.

Gray, with ginger highlights, big ears, spoon-shaped nose – and a longer snout, retractable claws, sharp fangs and a stubby tail that definitely didn't belong to a real koala bear. He had a scruffy air about him, like a brawler, even in that shape.

"I think you got halfway stuck there," Raleigh commented, grinning. "You look like a demonic koala."

Chuck jumped up onto the chair, then onto the kitchen island, growling. A cuddly, fluffy, vicious, fanged, taloned, tuft-eared koala. A cute face with dangerous fangs. Button eyes that could glow like a wolf's. Big, padded paws with sharp claws, retractable like a cat's.

Yep, the Koala from Hell.

God, he was already in love with him.

Raleigh reached out, ignoring the possibility that he might get his hand chewed off.

The fur was soft.

The wave of affection he felt was the same he received from his partner. Chuck leaned his head into the strong fingers massaging his ear, almost purring.

Raleigh's smile threatened to become a permanent fixture.

And then Chuck was his bipedal, human self again. Naked. Sitting on the kitchen island.

Raleigh took the opportunity and leaned in, catching the other man's lips in a kiss. He felt the calm waves, the warmth and acceptance, the need, all coming from the other man, and he was reacting to it.

It was so different from the months before, the denial and the pain.

Mate. He had his soulmate. He had Chuck Hansen.

XOXO

It was the first time he had sex on a kitchen island.

Chuck was a very enthusiastic participant, alternatively pushing into Raleigh's mouth and onto the fingers in his ass.

"You. In. Now!" was the growled remark.

Raleigh wouldn't dream of ignoring that command.

Ever.

XOXO

He came hard. That he left a bite in Chuck's shoulder was a moment of embarrassment.

Chuck groaned his released, breath shaking out of his lungs, and he tipped his head back.

"Damn."

Raleigh nuzzled the pale stretch of skin along his throat. "Yeah."

He was shaky, the bond again wide open, the connection between them almost electric.

"This gonna be the norm?"

"How should I know? Never bonded before."

Chuck snorted. "Not to mention your dry spell."

"Look who's talking." He lightly bit the mark again, drawing a gasped moan from the other Shifter.

"Damnit!"

"Hm, sensitive."

"Fuck you, Ray."

"When you're up for it."

Chuck's eyes narrowed, green slits of sparking emotions.

_Oh yeah_, Raleigh thought with excitement. _Like: hell, yeah!_

"So what does that make us now?" Chuck asked as he nipped at Raleigh's reddened lips, fangs still partially out.

Raleigh caught the teasing mouth, ignoring the fangs, and kissed him. "Complete," he whispered.

Chuck stared at him, eyes wide, and a mixture of different emotions ran over his face, most of them related to embarrassment.

"Want to go for a run?" he murmured against Chuck's lips.

"Where to?"

"We got all of the outside."

"Weather's lousy."

"It's just a little rain. You're not made of sugar, are you?" Raleigh teased.

Chuck scowled playfully and pushed back. He shifted into his wolf shape and looked expectantly at his partner. Raleigh grinned and stripped out of his clothes. He let the shift wash over him, just as Chuck hit the door opener with a paw.

Then they were off, racing each other through the hallways and toward the exit.

Whoever was along the way, they watched the two wolves skid around corners and weave through the human traffic.

XOXO

It was raining outside.

Raleigh didn't mind. He had never felt so carefree, so young, so at ease. Chasing Chuck, following him over the long stretch of slippery metal underneath his paws, he enjoyed the fresh ocean air.

Two Siberian wolves were watching them attentively, and when Raleigh felt them, he called out a challenge.

Let it be said, the Kaidanovskys never backed down from a challenge.

XOXO

When they came back, both were dripping wet, tongues lolling.

Herc had to laugh when he caught sight of them. Both wolves looked unrepentant.

_Pack_, he thought._ My pack._

Chuck's eyes gleamed with the knowledge as to what his alpha was thinking. The pack bond was there, strong as ever, maybe even more so than before.

He smiled at his son.

They trotted past him, dripping water everywhere. Both joined him for breakfast about half an hour later, positively glowing with what they had done in the time between coming back in and the mess hall.

Herc didn't even need his nose.

tbc...


	9. Chapter 9

When Raleigh walked into Newt's lab, the other man took one look at him, then grinned widely.

"Finally!" he called, throwing both his arms up as if praising a deity. "They did it!"

Hermann looked up from behind his computer model, scowling a little, but the smile on his lips was tell-tale.

"Congratulations, Raleigh," Newt went on, walking over to him and stripping off his gloves.

Some kind of almost-clear, viscous fluid dripped off the fingers. He had been hip-deep in Kaiju parts again.

"Uh, thanks. I think."

"You think?" Newton turned to Gottlieb. "He thinks! Dude, of course it's time for congratulations!" he told the pilot. "You both got your heads out of your asses and followed nature's call. Was about time."

"Yeah, I guess."

"So I suppose we won't get any more sleepovers?"

He chuckled. "No. Probably not."

Unless he and Chuck got into it so badly that he felt he needed the distance. Right now, distance was the last thing on his mind.

"No problem, man. Hermann wants his couch back anyway. He likes to chew on the old throws."

Hermann's head came up again, eyes flaring with indignation and anger. His mouth was a thin line of displeasure, but Newt waved him off.

"I just wanted to say thanks," Raleigh headed off whatever explosion was building. "For everything."

Newton shrugged. "No biggie."

"It was," Raleigh told him seriously. "Thanks."

The smaller man shuffled, shrugging again. "Hey, anytime."

Gottlieb had limped over by now, looking Raleigh up and down. "Bonds are nothing to be ignored," he stated. "Value what you have."

"He will, Herm. Let it rest."

Raleigh smiled a little. "I do know what I have. More than anyone, I guess. I never thought I would have the chance."

"Whoever talked to you about being unable to bond because of neural damage to the brain was incompetent," Hermann stated. "Absolutely incompetent. A disgrace to his profession."

Newton actually patted his arm and Raleigh bit back a smile.

"Drop by any time," Geiszler said. "We're open 24/7."

"I might just take you up on that offer."

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

"Go. Take your vacation days. And whatever time you need. You bloody well deserve to be off the grid for a while. Shatterdome's still gonna be here when you get back."

Raleigh looked a bit startled and Chuck couldn't fault him for it. Vacation was something… unknown. Chuck had been a Jaeger pilot for five years straight and even before that he hadn't known off-time.

Almost ten years.

Raleigh himself had been working on the Walls for the past five years. Any day not spent working had been a day where the scarred place in his mind had clamored for attention.

Now things had changed.

They had changed.

"I don't want to see your faces for at least a month. Not here, not in any other PPDC facility," Herc ordered, the crinkles at the corners of his eyes deepening with his amusement. "Get used to what you have now. Explore it. Test the boundaries."

Raleigh glanced at him and Chuck smirked a little. Oh, he was ready to test boundaries. Of course, the rational part knew what his alpha was talking about. Usually mates needed some time to get back into the game, achieve that balance between them, and being who they were, it was necessary.

"One advice: go somewhere without memories." The blue-gray eyes were intense, the ring of gold tell-tale. "No history. I hear Iceland's a nice enough place for wolves to run."

XOXO

So Iceland it was.

Far off from the Pacific, away from where the Kaiju had made land. A place where life was as close to what it had been twenty years ago as was possible.

A place where no triggers waited around the corner for either man. Triggers like childhood memories or personal failures and loss.

Like Sydney.

Like Anchorage.

"Happy birthday," Raleigh said quietly as they stood in the hotel room they had booked for the first night. A nice, brightly furnished, homey looking room. With a king-sized bed.

Chuck wrapped an arm around the other man's waist, letting himself pulled in. "Dinner's on you," he decided.

Raleigh chuckled, pressing a kiss against one temple. "You pick."

XOXO

They ended up in a cozy restaurant that served really good food.

Chuck was a lightweight when it came to alcohol, though not for lack of trying. It wasn't because he was a Shifter either – his Dad could drink the Kaidanovskys under the table if he set his mind to it. He simply couldn't hold his liquor.

More than a beer plus a cocktail and he was already starting to show symptoms.

Chuck blamed his demon koala for it.

Raleigh just shook his head and ordered another Cola. He had hit the hard stuff in the months after Yancy's death, had weaned himself off it all before he crashed completely.

Because drinking meant lowered inhibitions, meant lowered shields, meant the return of Ghosts and memories, of Yancy on the day he had perished.

While he had been invited to share drinks with Sasha and Aleksis, both had accepted when he had declined.

Only very much later had he told them why.

Yes, Raleigh still had the occasional beer, but he no longer tried to chase away the pain with it.

XO

They spent one night at the hotel, then packed their backpacks, picked up their car and drove off into the wild.

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

They had buried an empty coffin in Anchorage. The headstone only read 'Yancy Becket, brother, son'.

Raleigh had been left with a hole the shape of his brother in his soul.

"I miss him," he told Chuck as they sat on the rocky ground, gazing out over the surreal landscape. "Every single day. He was in my head; I was in his. We fit. I dream about him, about those last moments, and then those dreams turn into nightmares."

Chuck chewed his lower lip.

They had buried an empty coffin in Perth. The headstone read 'Angela. Mother. Wife.'

"They say the Kaiju killed her," he told his mate. "Maybe that's true. Maybe I can believe it. They dropped a nuke on it."

He shook his head and closed his eyes.

"I hated my dad for saving me. Then I stepped into his head and I couldn't hate him any longer."

Raleigh understood. There was something there, without the Drift, that joined them on a level that couldn't be explained by the bond. It was something in their lives up until this point, their loss, their love, their determination to keep fighting, even though the pain was making it hard to breathe.

Chuck slid his fingers between Raleigh's, squeezing his hand.

"She would have adored you," he whispered.

Raleigh smiled. "Yancy would have given you The Talk about his little brother."

Chuck snorted, amused.

"And then probably asked you all the embarrassing questions big brothers around the world are entitled to ask." There was a wistfulness to Raleigh's voice that he couldn't completely hide. "He'd know more about you in a day than I would after bonding."

Chuck squeezed the hand again. They had both lost a lot. It still hurt.

"What about your sister?"

Raleigh shrugged. "Saw her leave when I was seventeen. She never looked back and I have no idea where she lives, with whom, how, or even if she's still alive."

"Sucks."

"Yeah. You got any family left? Aside from Herc?"

Chuck shook his head. "None that matters."

It got him a frown. Raleigh felt that there was more, that something had happened, but he was careful not to poke too much. They had time. Chuck had time to decide what to tell his mate.

He leaned over and kissed the other man softly. Chuck responded with a little more want.

"Not a girl, Ray," he growled.

"Wouldn't make that mistake any time," Raleigh replied, amusement in his voice.

"Good. Then we're clear." He nipped at Raleigh's lips.

XOXO

That night, together in their tent, Chuck's hands slid over the old scars. Electrical burns. Lines cut into living skin, bloody, painful, now white marks on tanned skin.

He kissed one shoulder, feeling the ridges.

Raleigh hummed softly, sleepily petting Chuck's head, the soft thrum of the soul bond between them.

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

They travelled with backpacks and their rental car, enjoying the twenty-four hour days of the Iceland summer. Chuck hadn't gone camping ever since he had been a child. He barely remembered it. It had been with a school class.

Now he slept under an open sky if the weather allowed it, the silence around him only broken by natural sounds, and he felt himself unwind. Slowly but surely.

Raleigh was opening up. He kept discovering new nuances, new sides and quirks, and Chuck enjoyed it. Immensely.

When they weren't hiking, they shifted and ran around on four paws.

They only met another Shifter once. She was a native of the island, reflected in her Shifter shape: an Icelandic horse.

It was a brief meeting, an exchange of nods since neither of them shifted, then the wolves were off again.

They didn't meet her a second time.

XOXO

When Chuck took on his koala form, Raleigh licked over his face, tail wagging.

::You're so dead!::

And he tackled his bonded mate.

XOXO

That evening a very dirty, tousled looking wolf came back with an even more tousled koala on his back. The koala's fur was sticking up in all directions and there were leaves, mud and grass in it.

But they looked insanely happy and relaxed.

XOXO

Raleigh rented a cottage for the third week.

Mostly because it had started to rain and hadn't let up most of the day.

It was a tiny little place.

They were the only ones around.

For miles and miles.

Chuck used that privacy. Intimately. Having Raleigh spread out under him, flat on his belly, pushing his ass back into every thrust had him so hot and bothered, it was a small miracle he hadn't shot off immediately.

As it was, they lasted quite some time. And the second time, while Raleigh groaned softly and there was not much left for him to give, Chuck felt like the world creaked on its axis.

"Gonna be the death of me," he murmured, breathing hard, heart beating fast, blood thrumming through his veins.

Raleigh made a soft noise of contentment and wrapped himself around the Australian. His fingers played over the faint marks from the healed injuries on Chuck's sweat-slick skin.

Outside the rain had turned everything into soft blurs, the clouds hanging low and obscuring the mountains.

Chuck felt the soft waves of the connection between them, steady and strong.

"Love you," Raleigh whispered roughly, bright blue eyes filled with emotions that were all over the bond.

Chuck caught his lips into a deep kiss.

The kiss grew more affectionate, more exploring, soft and deep.

::Love you:: he answered.

XOXO

That was also the time Chuck discovered that Raleigh couldn't cook. Not for the life of him. His first attempt at simple noodles with tomato sauce was disgusting.

"Really?" Chuck asked, incredulous.

How one could turn tomatoes and herbs into the weird concoction that one had to cut with a knife… and that tasted like slimy mold. And yes, he did know how that tasted. Chuck had been an adventurous kid.

"You get rations at the Wall," Raleigh replied with a scowl. "Breakfast, lunch and dinner. You never cook yourself. There was nothing to cook anyway."

The other Shifter just shook his head. While he had been living out of mess halls and rations, too, his father had taught him how to cook a few basic meals, even from ration packs.

"Gimme that," he muttered, grabbed the pan and took control of the hob.

XOXO

The result was, at least, edible, though not gourmet.

Raleigh's bright-eyed surprise spread something warm and undefined through Chuck. He knew it flowed over the bond and Raleigh felt it, but he wouldn't apologize for it.

Never.

XOXO

They sat on the porch, Raleigh with a beer in his hands, Chuck with a bottle of Cola. The porch was gigantic compared to the otherwise small cottage. It overlooked the dramatic landscape around them, wrapped around two sides of their rental home, and had two deck chairs.

Both men had chosen to sit on the steps.

"Have you ever wanted to be just the wolf?" Chuck asked, eyes on the horizon.

The light had taken on the soft quality of the evening sun, setting, though never disappearing completely. It was warm. Nice. No rain at all tonight.

Raleigh took a swig from the beer. "Once. Twice." He wiped this thumb over the condensation on the side of the bottle. "As a kid we spent days as wolves. Me and Yancy. And Jazmine. My uncle would take us out into the wild, show us a good time, and my mom would teach us to listen to instinct, but still think human, and she would let us run. After… after she passed, I hated to go running. After Yancy running away as the wolf sounded really good for a while."

Chuck closed his eyes. "Yeah. It does. Just… let go and forget everything."

Raleigh's presence was intense all of a sudden. The bond thrummed between them, the warmth of his mate wrapping around Chuck's soul."

"When my mom died… I spent a lot of time as the were-koala. Before that I went through every kind of shape I fancied. My dad nearly got a conniption over some of my shapes. And then I was the koala."

"You didn't go running in that shape," Raleigh teased.

"No. Not really. I went into the air vents."

Raleigh snorted. "Herc must have been thrilled."

"Yeah." Chuck grinned. "Absolutely." Then he sobered. "I hid in there. It was my kind of running away."

Raleigh leaned a little closer, shoulders touching. "Did it help?"

"No. You?"

"For a while."

Chuck grimaced.

"Then I got my job." He nuzzled against Chuck's neck. "Now I got you."

The other Shifter snorted, but he didn't push his mate away.

"My mother was a Non," he said instead.

"I didn't know that."

"My Dad's side was a bloodline of wolves with the occasional other Shifter. They met, fell head over heels in love… Dad never met his mate."

Raleigh just looked at him. Chuck's expression grew distant.

"Meeting your mate isn't required to be happy. Neither does a mate mean you're instantly happy."

Chuck's brow lowered. "I know that, Ray."

"Just look at us."

"You were the ass."

"You contributed your fair share."

Chuck grumbled a little. "Yeah, maybe."

"What about Scott?" Raleigh suddenly asked. "Did he ever meet someone?"

The triple Shifter tensed. "Yes," he ground out.

Raleigh looked at him, the bond between them suddenly filled with sharp tension and agitation. It was like a dark wave that surged between them.

::Not a good topic?:: he murmured.

Chuck closed his eyes and buried his fingers in his short hair. He exhaled sharply. ::No:: he replied. ::Not at all::

Raleigh waited. This was the man he was bonded to for the rest of his life. He wanted to get to know Chuck, his family, everything.

So he waited.

He gave Chuck the time and space he needed.

"My uncle's always been kind of a ladies man," he finally said. "I have no idea how many lady friends he had until he met her. Charlotte. Charlie. She was younger than him. Fifteen years younger than him."

Sometimes that happened. Rarely, but it did.

Chuck's hands clenched and unclenched.

"Herc never told me. I saw it in the Drift."

Raleigh waited.

"Scott… didn't want to be bonded. He wanted the fangirls, the free sex, the adoration. He played her. He got her into threesomes, foursomes. He never completed the bond… and then he broke it."

Raleigh felt something inside of him freeze. He didn't know if it came from Chuck or from him, or if the bond combined what both men felt and intensified it.

He was simply horrified.

You either accepted or rejected the mate bond. You didn't play the other. You didn't coerce them. You didn't manipulate.

It was an unspoken rule.

You especially didn't halfway complete a bond, used the other person and then broke it again. To break what was nearly established… it took a coldness that Raleigh didn't think a Shifter should possess.

Scott Hansen had been such a person.

"Charlie… she wasted away. She tried to kill herself twice within a week. She disappeared two days after the second, failed attempt."

"Did she take her life?"

"No one knows. My dad… he thinks she did. When he saw what Scott did… in the Drift… they went out of alignment. He nearly killed him for everything he saw."

Raleigh didn't have to ask. He caught emotional snippets and that was enough.

"The PPDC kicked him out. No idea where he went."

And neither Hansen had cared.

Silence fell between them.

It wasn't tense any more and it was like a weight had been lifted off of Chuck.

Raleigh reached for his hand and threaded their fingers together. Chuck lifted a corner of his mouth.

XO

They went inside not much later and curled up on the bed, sliding together naturally.

tbc...


	10. Chapter 10

Newton came into his quarters, tired but happy, a feeling of accomplishment running through him. He had spent the last few days cataloguing Kaiju parts, running into Hong Kong, talking to Hannibal for hours on end, probably chewing his ear off with his chatter, and getting more and more exotic parts for his effort. The black market was still running strong and Chau was the ruling king of it.

Newton loved his job, the place he worked at, and who he worked with. He knew there was no one better qualified for what he did, that his knowledge of Kaijus was unrivalled. People turned to him for questions. He had minions running around the Shatterdome.

It was awesome.

He was a rock-star.

And he was writing papers in his spare time.

Hermann had still been busy with his math when he had left to scrounge up something to eat. Like Newton he was a leading head in his field and his model of the Breach, the Throat and everything concerning the Anteverse was referred to by countless other mathematicians.

Neither man had felt inclined to go travelling and talk in front of people. Newton was a hands-on guy and he hated the very idea of leaving this treasure trove of real life Kaiju parts. Hermann… well, Hermann had never said anything about leaving either, but he could do his work from wherever.

Newton had once mentioned it after Gottlieb had shot down another request for a panel with him.

"Don't be an idiot," had been Hermann's reply.

That, and Hermann's confession that he had broken the possible bond to his real mate – because of Newton – had let something warm bloom inside the other man. He was a Non. He could never bond. And Hermann had chosen him. Him!

It still had his mind go suspiciously blank, unable to compute, unable to process.

XOXO

When he passed by the lab on his way back from the mess, no one was there.

But there was someone in his quarters.

Newton stopped halfway into the room and he knew he was grinning like a loon. Before him was a rare sight, one for the books, something to etch into his mind, to recall later when he felt warm and fuzzy and high on too much sugar.

Hermann Gottlieb, ladies and gentlemen. Shifter. In his shifted form, stretched out languidly.

"Wow," he breathed as he took in the slender animal.

Gottlieb lifted his head. Large, round ears turned and the brown eyes met his own.

"Herm, I mean, wow! What's the occasion? That's… uh… dude, you've been your doggy self so often lately!"

The soft, rumbling growl was almost familiar. Hermann the African painted dog looked just as pinched and slightly prickly as Hermann Gottlieb, PhD, math genius in his bipedal form.

He rose gracefully and padded over to Newton, all long, slender legs and streamlined body, and pushed his head under Newton's hand. He felt the warmth, the slickness of the fur, and trailed over one of the many spots of ginger and light ochre.

The first time Newton had seen Hermann's animal form he had been blown away. He looked incredible. Amazing.

And he was tattooed.

That was probably the first thing that had come to mind.

The coat was mixture of shapes and earthen colors, ranging from dark brown to yellow. No wonder African wild dogs were also called painted dogs.

Newton was in love. Absolutely in love. Not just with the man, but also with his canine form.

He would never tire of this. Never!

Gottlieb had rarely shifted in the past decade. Newton had tried everything to get him to do it more often, but he never had been able to find a successful way to do so.

Now… as of lately… with the change at the Shatterdome… with an alpha in charge…

Hermann pushed a little at his hip, then turned and walked gracefully over to the bed.

It was so weird that he could walk like that. No limp, nothing at all. As a human he needed a cane, as a dog he was limber enough, though he didn't run or playfully chase a ball.

Newt knew.

He had tried. It had involved a squeaky toy ball, bright neon green, that he had discovered on one of the markets in Hong Kong.

Hermann had given him that Look. Capital L. It had been just as scathing as on his human face.

Geiszler slipped out of his leather jacket and pulled off the haphazard tie, then kicked off his shoes and stripped out of the skinny jeans.

Hermann watched him patiently. He jumped onto the bed and waited for Newton, who crawled in after him to settle down. Then Hermann plopped down half over his lap with a contended sigh. You wouldn't catch him dead cuddling openly as a human. As a dog he was a lot more tactile. In his shifted form he dared to want, to show Newton what he liked.

And since the Breach had been closed, he had come out of his self-imposed shell.

Gotta thank the Marshall for that, Newt thought.

Because when Herc had been just a Ranger, Hermann hadn't reacted to him any more than he had to any other person in the Shatterdome. When he had become Pentecost's second in command, there had been hardly a twitch.

Now…

He felt so proud, so incredibly proud. Hermann was becoming bolder, stronger emotionally when it came to his Shifter personality. It was beautiful. He was beautiful.

Newton's fingers stroked over the short fur on the head, then buried in the longer ruff on the neck.

He didn't ask what had brought on the shift, just like he had never asked before. He simply enjoyed having Hermann like that. It was rare enough and he adored his Shifter form.

_Love you_, he thought. _So, so much._

Playing with a soft-furred, round ear, Newton smiled to himself as Hermann's eyes slid shut and he let out a sigh. His whole body relaxed into the caress.

_Whatever you need_, Newton thought fondly. _Whatever at all._

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

Raleigh and Chuck returned to a mostly operational Shatterdome that was running with a medium-sized core crew, two full tech teams and support staff, as well as the Kaiju Science Lab under the leadership of Doctors Geiszler and Gottlieb. They were the leading experts on K-science, including the Anteverse, and Newton was in his personal heaven. No one could get him to leave the Hong Kong Shatterdome for anything less than he had here; and he had everything.

They returned to pack.

Herc took them on a night run, the powerful ginger alpha a sight to behold. Raleigh felt Chuck's pride at seeing his father in his wolf form, the lithe build, the hard muscles playing under the fur.

Sasha and Aleksis joined them just as they passed the security check point.

XO

They went into Hong Kong, keeping to the shadows, play-hunting, moving as one unit.

XO

Dark brown eyes watched the pack leave and round ears pricked, listening. Newton, sitting next to the painted dog, glanced at his companion.

"Wanna go?" he asked lightly.

Hermann shot him a look that clearly told Newton he thought himself to be above such displays of primal nature.

"Hey, you're the one who shifts again and again. The guy who shifts about once every leap year," Geiszler added, grinning. "I'm getting whiplash from your shifts, man!"

Hermann snorted with clearly audible disgust.

"And the Marshall's the alpha here. No other pack so far and you and I know it'll be hard for someone else to establish anything. At least on that level. Herc's immensely powerful as an alpha wolf. He's not just the Marshall any more, he's the pack leader."

Hermann huffed softly, ears turning like little radar dishes as he listened to the fading sounds of the pack.

Newton playfully ruffled his fur. "No shame in wanting to, Herm. You're a Shifter. And you're in his pack, too."

It got him a glare.

"Nope, you are. You're talking to an expert here. I know everything about Shifters ever written. Wrote most of it myself anyway. But not the topic here. You're isolating yourself against your nature's wants and needs, Herm."

It got him a growl.

"Exactly!" Newton gestured wildly. "You're a pack animal and they're your pack. I've been telling you that for ages, man! Ages! You keep giving me the stink-eye and the lectures, but deep down in your little Shifter soul you feel the want and the need! You're finally letting it out! Go run with your pack!"

Gottlieb turned his head, the dark eyes intense, then he pushed his nose against Newton's neck in a surprising show of intimacy.

"Uh, yeah, I mean… there's us. And that's you and me. I mean…"

Hermann whined softly. Newt was always surprised how open the other man became in this shape. Maybe that was the reason why he hadn't shifted more often in his past. Their past.

But now the pack bond was there to stay. Herc's influence was there.

He laughed softly and shook his head. "I won't judge you, y'know. I'd be the last person to do that."

Another huff.

"So, you wanna go bar hopping? Or just hopping?"

Hermann glared, then lay down over Newton's lap. Yes, he was a lot more open and showed his affection readily in this form. It was what frightened him, Newton knew. It was what had him clamp down on any kind of closeness when he was human.

He leaned down and dropped a soft kiss on the dark brown stripe of fur on his head. He loved the irregular, mottled coat with its patches of red, black, brown, white, and yellow fur.

Hermann rolled his eyes, but the way his body went completely limp, he wasn't objecting for real.

XO

They only went back inside when it started to rain.

Newton didn't have time to feel cold as he let a very naked Hermann help him strip and push him under a hot shower.

Together.

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

It had been seven months since their victory, since the final showdown, the closure of the Breach. It had been seven months since Chuck had come out of a suicide mission alive.

Physical wounds had healed.

Scars had remained.

Humanity had started to rebuild what had been destroyed, moving mountains of rubble and debris, burying the dead they still found, mourning and celebrating in one. The Walls were by now torn to pieces, scavenged, the steel and concrete, using it all to erect homes again.

XOXO

The arrival of the new Jaeger had Chuck stay in the bay from the moment the restored machine was docked.

She looked incomplete. Just a basic model. Mako had mentioned it before and she had detailed plans for what the Jaeger would look like in the end. Actually, almost like a cross between Gipsy Danger and Striker Eureka.

Chuck wondered if that was a first, none too subtle hint.

"She got a name?" he asked Mako, who was there as the scaffolding was moved into place.

"Archangel Omega. At least on paper until she is ready." She smiled.

"Huh."

"A fitting name for a guardian, a protector."

Chuck shrugged. Jaegers were protectors. They had been primarily warriors so far, kicking Kaiju ass, but in the future they would be watchmen.

Down at the Breach.

Ready.

He wanted to be part of it. What else was there for him to do? He was a Jaeger pilot. It was all he had ever been, all he had ever wanted to be. It was in his blood. He knew Jaegers inside out.

And he had just turned twenty-two.

Chuck felt a smile cross his lips.

He wanted to be inside Archangel's Conn-Pod. She was his.

XOXO

Chuck was all over the Jaeger, talking to the mechanics and techs, looking into the upgrades and complete remodeling of so many parts. It was almost close to Striker Eureka in design.

Almost.

Mako's blueprints were detailed, the technology more than just a simple upgrade. She would be awesome.

And he had no co-pilot.

Herc's expression said it all.

The Marshall wouldn't step into a Conn-Pod again. It had been a long and hard discussion, accompanied by temper outbreaks and snarling.

XOXO

"I'm responsible for the whole Shatterdome, Chuck."

"So was Pentecost!" the beta exploded.

"His decision was made under different circumstances."

"Because he was dying anyway?!"

"Because the world was a step away from dying at the hands of an invading force no one seemed to be able to stop anymore."

Chuck ran a hand through his short hair. His father was suddenly close and while everything inside him screamed fight or flight, he let his alpha draw him into a hug.

"You two will be good together. You're not losing something. You gain more. We're pack, Chuck. We always will be."

XOXO

So it came down to a choice:

Accept Raleigh as the one to replace his alpha in the Drift.

Or learn to accept someone else; a stranger. From a kwoon matching session.

Chuck felt almost physically sick at the thought.

His dad had always been his co-pilot from the first time he had stepped into a Jaeger. Perfect match. They had been working together for five long years, had Drifted countless times. Even now he felt the Ghosts sometimes and he wasn't ashamed of it. The pack bond to his alpha enhanced it.

His mate… would be perfectly Drift compatible, too.

They would be good together; he knew that. It would be like another bond. The connection between them, primary, alpha level, was intense already. The Drift would add to it.

"The deeper the bond, the better you fight." He had heard it countless times throughout the Academy. He knew it was absolutely true.

A mind-meld adding to the primary connection.

Chuck gnashed his teeth.

tbc...


	11. Chapter 11

"I won't be Raleigh's co-pilot," Mako told him serenely when he caught her in the mess hall.

She had a thick folder of notes, her tablet, and was writing into a book. Mako was happiest with an engine to take apart and watch it work perfectly when she put it together again.

She was eating fried rice and vegetables in spicy sauce. It smelled delicious.

"You want to give up driving a Jaeger?" Chuck blurted.

She smiled calmly. "No."

"So you don't want to drive one with Raleigh?"

"No."

Chuck hissed in frustration. Mako looked at him like he was a small child throwing a tantrum.

"I always wanted to step into a Conn-Pod. I was one of the best, Chuck Hansen. Raleigh was my co-pilot for that first time outside a simulator. He was my co-pilot when we went down to the Breach. He was there when I chased the rabbit. He was there when we went into the Breach, ready to sacrifice everything so everyone else could live. I have been in his head, have seen his pain and loss. I know his soul, Chuck Hansen, but you are the one who feels it, too."

He frowned angrily. Mako simply smiled.

"Do you really think that sharing the Drift will be so very different from what you have shared already? Your souls are connected. You have his love and trust, you know of his scars. He shares what you have, too. He won't ever replace your alpha."

Chuck swallowed.

"He won't," Mako repeated. "Ever. Herc accepts Raleigh as pack. He is your mate. You won't accept anyone else."

XOXO

And that mate wrapped his arms around Chuck as he walked into his quarters, pulling him close, burying his head against one shoulder.

"Uh," Chuck mumbled as he felt stubble brush over his skin.

Something skittered through him, ignited by the rough scratch. The connection between them thrummed with emotions. Whispers arched across, all thoughts and emotions and no sense. Chuck wrapped himself around the other presence and let it wash over him.

"Ray?" he asked, a little bewildered but not at all adverse to it.

"Don't call me that," was the knee-jerk response, almost lost in his flight jacket.

"Sure. What's going on?"

"Nothin'."

"You just turned into a cuddle monster why?"

It got him a huff of laughter and Raleigh raised his head, looking at him from bright blue eyes.

"I like you close, that's all."

The bond. Fuck. His mate had probably been on the receiving end of a whole lot of unfiltered emotions and whatnot. They were too new in this whole connection business. Both were still trying to figure out how to keep themselves from projecting all over the place all the time.

Chuck had thought he had a grip on it.

_Proven wrong_, he thought sourly.

"You got that all, hm?" he asked with a grumpy edge to the question.

Raleigh gave a little huff of a laugh. "The bond connection transmits strong emotions. Yours were very strong. And it's not like I don't know what causes that kind of a reaction."

Ye-eah. Talk about knee-jerk reactions. Or triggers. Both in one sitting.

Chuck was silent. They had been growing into what this was, this physical, mental and meta-physical connection between them. It was terrifying how well they had adjusted to each other, how in tune they were. It wasn't all happiness and pink clouds and rainbows, but it was a lot of instinct involved. It made some things easier, some harder.

"Would you want me in your head like that?" he finally asked, trying to make it neutral, but it came out rather too harsh.

Raleigh froze, actually froze, and he pushed back. His eyes had widened. The emotions were now stronger, bouncing wildly, and Chuck pulled at the bond like on a physical connection. His mate seemed to mentally stagger, then righten himself.

"Why wouldn't I?"

"I know Mako was in there. The whole thing nearly went south."

Raleigh winced a little.

"And we got baggage," the triple Shifter went on. "Both of us. We got so much fucking baggage. We'd go out of alignment, fuck up the neural handshake…" He exhaled sharply.

"We got the primary bond, too."

"You think that helps?" Chuck laughed without amusement.

"It does."

Bloody hell, the man was serious!

"You really want to?"

"The question is, would you want me there?"

He wanted to hit him just then and there. What a fucking stupid question!

Chuck knew his outburst transmitted over the bond and glared as Raleigh winced a little.

"Well, you're out of crazy people who want to Drift with you. And I'm out of old guys who think I'm their co-pilot while it's the other way around." Chuck gave him a smirk.

Raleigh's expression was priceless, going from hopeful to ecstatic to absolutely gorgeous.

"So, tag, you're it," he said lightly.

Inside he was a knotted mess.

"And you are it," Raleigh replied, pulling him into a sudden kiss, biting lightly at his lips.

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

Archangel wouldn't be ready for a while.

It meant simulation runs at best.

Raleigh had been through several of them, sitting down with the Jaeger techs and Drift engineers, and sometimes even with Hermann Gottlieb.

Gottlieb was busy with no longer so theoretical models of the Breach, the Throat and whatever data had made it back about the Anteverse.

Raleigh was his favorite subject when it came to questions.

It reminded Raleigh of what had happened, but it also helped him work through the crazy ass images. It was almost like sessions with a shrink.

XOXO

The arrival of a second Jaeger, ready to be restored and outfitted, sealed the fact that the Kaidanovskys were still in the game.

Tendo jokingly called the Jaeger Archdemon.

She was officially called Triskelion Alpha two weeks into her restoration.

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

The Drift is silence.

And it is a million sounds.

He sat on top of the scaffolding, watching the welders work on the last layer of armor, sparks arching away into the dark bay.

Chuck had been up here countless times, either working or watching, alone with his thoughts and emotions. It was something he had done from early on in his life as a Jaeger pilot kid.

Right now he was in his third shape; the Koala from Hell.

Sitting on his haunches, he let his thoughts drift, alert wolf eyes on his surroundings.

Archangel was near completion.

Soon she would be ready for a first launch. With a new pilot team. Raleigh Becket and Chuck Hansen.

They would be Drifting together for the very first time.

Chuck knew everything about Drift technology, the Pons, the Jaeger tech involved to bring two minds together. He was an expert on these matters, the best pilot the PPDC ever had. He had been raised in a Conn-Pod, he had been with his father in Shatterdomes all over the world. He had talked to techs and engineers, had crawled around Jaegers before he had been able to drive a bike.

There was nothing he didn't know.

So he knew there was more to the Drift than science told the pilots. Especially for Shifters.

He had experienced it.

Nons needed several Drifts to create a Headspace where both sides felt comfortable. It was a place where each crew unconsciously negotiated its own consensus expression. Communication through Headspace was quicker than verbal communication, shielding the part they didn't want others to know about.

Shifters had connections surpassing that of a neural handshake. Family pack bonds, sibling connections

Some were mates, which was the most intense.

Their Headspace was like a physical form of the soulmate connection. Especially an alpha connection.

It was dizzying, surreal and so much part of them, it would come to life almost upon contact.

Packs had a weaker version of that, but it was intense nonetheless.

The Headspace with his alpha had been like that for Chuck. Surreal but intense. Right there. And Chuck had known about so many things all of a sudden, it had almost winded him.

With a mate it would be several times that and more.

With Raleigh, who was so new to him, who was still getting over five years of shielding his soul against everything, Chuck had no idea what would happen. They were compatible without even going through one kwoon session, but they both had deep, emotional wounds to take into account.

Then again, his mate had already shown that he could still go through Drifts. Mako had been his co-pilot twice and they had kicked ass together.

He huffed softly to himself and finally ambled over to another spot that gave him a perfect view of the fins on Archangel's back and the Conn-Pod.

Chuck lay down, head on his crossed paws.

At the edge of his consciousness he felt his mate. Raleigh was becoming more powerful a presence in his mind and it was new and strange and still very wonderful.

It was like nothing he had ever experienced before. Knowing that he, Chuck Hansen, was healing the other Shifter just because they were bonded was another little thrill.

_I love him_, he thought fondly.

The Drift wouldn't be so bad, right? Different from Herc and him, but not bad. It couldn't be bad.

XO

He stayed until the shift change.

XO

No one really batted an eye at the Shifter who climbed nimbly and quickly down the scaffolding and trotted off. Chuck kept to his koala 'demon' shape until he had reached his quarters, then smoothly shifted to human once inside.

XO

He took a long shower, mind still whirling with the thoughts of Drifting with his mate.

XOXO

Raleigh was there, leaning against the wall, as he stepped out of the bathroom.

"You think loudly," he said, a faint smile in his eyes and twitching at his lips. "Again."

Chuck shrugged apologetically.

"We don't have to do this, Chuck."

"And fuck you, Ray," he growled.

"Chuck…"

"No. No, we're doing this. You're my bloody mate! We're already connected! We're the best they can find."

It was common knowledge that co-pilots could be disoriented by the experience of Drifting the first time, particularly when they shared no common memory or reference points with their partner.

Headspace was difficult to use effectively at first, as pilots were still adjusting to one another's mental vocabulary.

Mates were already one step ahead.

Mates shared so much more.

"But you're not comfortable with the idea. Herc…"

"Mate, Raleigh. You're my mate! Not my alpha!"

Raleigh didn't so much as twitch as Chuck stalked over to him, eyes glowing with the wolf in him. He just looped an arm around his waist, sliding over naked skin.

"I'm your mate," he said softly, the bond open and humming warmly between them. "I don't have to be your co-pilot."

"You are already both," Chuck said, pushing him against the wall again.

Raleigh leaned his head against Chuck's.

The triple Shifter closed his eyes, tension leaving him again.

::I want you:: Raleigh whispered. ::In my head. With me::

::It's a fucked up place to be::

::Yeah::

Chuck captured the slightly happed lips. ::And we're gonna kick ass::

Raleigh chuckled. ::Never doubted it.::

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

Matching in the Kwoon was like a dance. It was balance and mirroring, it was achieving a unity that co-pilots needed to Drift, and it was a harmony felt by both participants.

The goal was to forge an ideal partnership between the Rangers.

The Kwoon was never a confrontation, a battle to beat an opponent, to win. It was a way to push both participants to their physical and mental limits. There had been matches lasting up to fourteen hours or more.

For them it had been going on six.

Chuck had been grumbling to himself that their alpha made them match in the Kwoon. It was already a fact, a solid, irremovable fact that they would match perfectly.

"No time like the present to show it," had been Herc's comment.

Chuck had literally growled at him.

Raleigh had just nodded, all serious and the perfect Ranger.

"I hate you," had been Chuck's comment; meant for both.

So now they were in their seventh hour, muscles burning, minds focused, their weapons of choice ready.

Mako was taking notes, Herc had been watching almost all the time, while others had come and gone. The Kaidanovskys hadn't moved from their seats, their attentive gazes following every move.

The pack bond was strong between them, the sense Chuck had of Raleigh almost surreal.

All of this was not of this world.

He hadn't had this intense pack connection since his mother had died. Instead of only his alpha he was aware of every single one, be it the other wolf Shifters or the not-wolves; even the Nons.

XOXO

::I know:: Raleigh told him between two sessions. ::I feel them, too::

And he wanted it. Chuck got that sense off him. He wanted and he actually craved it, this family unit connection, this tightness.

::PPDC's gonna flip shit if Herc's pulling alpha on them over something::

Raleigh's chuckle was soft and low. ::They made him this Shatterdome's Marshall. It was their choice, knowing who and what he is::

So much was true.

XOXO

They ended the day after eight hours and twenty-nine minutes.

Drained, happy, exhausted and still running high on adrenaline and the thrum of the bond.

"You did well, boys," Herc commented as he joined his two betas. "Tendo's scheduled a Drop in forty-eight hours. We'll see how it goes."

"As if there's any doubt," Chuck scoffed.

Herc's grin was brief, almost a smirk. Then he left them alone to shower and head to their quarters.

XOXO

They kissed languidly. There was no fever, no hunger, in the kiss. Just the deeper emotions that sloshed gently over the bond. There was no rush, no pressure, just the closeness.

Chuck answered the kiss with the same intensity that Raleigh had put into the intimate contact.

"We'll be amazing," Raleigh murmured against his lips when they parted.

"We'll be fucking perfect."

His mate grinned.

No doubt at all.

tbc..


	12. Chapter 12

The Drivesuit was a complicated construction, consisting of multiple layers. Every pilot wore what looked like a fancy wetsuit underneath their individual armor.

The engineers called it the circuitry suit since it consisted of a mesh of synaptic processors. The pattern of that mesh looked like circuitry on the outside of the undergarment, gleaming gold against the black polymer. The artificial synapses connected the pilot's brain to the Jaeger, his exoskeleton, and commands were relayed without a noticeable lag time.

As was pain.

It had been an early understanding in the new technology that the pain enabled pilots to react faster, to react in real time and like in real life, because it wasn't just something happening on a screen. It was happening to them.

They felt a Kaiju's bite, a blow, a break. It wasn't just a movie anymore.

The second layer of the Drivesuit was individually modeled to each pilot team, to each Jaeger.

Pilots chose them.

It was them.

The outer layer was a sealed polycarbonate shell with full life support and the magnetic interfaces at the feet, spine and all major limb points. The outer shell locked the pilot into the Conn-Pod.

Chuck looked at himself in the mirror, taking in the black circuitry suit, the dark gray Drivesuit armor, the silver and dark blue highlights.

It was brand new. It almost gleamed with how new it was. No wear or tear, no scuff marks. It had never been worn, never been in battle.

XO

"Initiating launch operations."

XO

In the Conn-Pod, the technicians were swarming around Raleigh and Chuck as the spinal clamps were smoothly fitted into place with soft clicks. Chuck rolled his shoulders and his head, feeling the first tingles of the connection. He put on his helmet, the Relay Gel sinking into the suit, readying to transmit the impulses between both pilots.

Logging into the guidance control, Raleigh already checked Archangel's status. She was powering up nicely. The digital HUD went online, the virtual environment bathing everything in a soft blue. The physical controls locked into place.

Chuck glanced at him, catching a smile from his partner. Blue eyes, bright and alive behind the visor, met his.

::Ready?:: he asked.

::Always:: Chuck replied cockily.

The smile was sharp, alive, a far cry from the man who had stepped into Gipsy Danger a year ago.

XO

"Pons is ready. Prepare for neural handshake."

XO

"Neural Handshake in fifteen seconds."

XO

So this was it.

Chuck let his mind flow, let the bond guide him, felt Raleigh with him already. On his right side.

Not replacing his alpha.

Never able to replace his father.

The Drift is silence, he had been taught. And for all its chaos, it's also balance.

The Drift had been the place where Chuck had felt Herc the most, where he had experienced the power and strength of the alpha, had been anchored by it. He had weathered the storm of the neural handshake, had come undone and been complete in one.

And then Raleigh was there. His mind was where his soul already touched Chuck, strong and powerful, warm and loving.

It was like Drifting with Herc and then again not.

It wasn't pack and then again it was.

It was a connection of the mind, supporting the soulbound, and it was amazing.

Images flashed past him. Images of happiness, of family, of loss and pain, of mourning his mother, the alpha of the family pack, of missing his father. The last moment he had seen his sister Jazmine as she had walked out the door.

And then the horror of Knifehead tearing Yancy away.

Out of the Drift.

Out of his mind.

Out of his life.

Forever.

He piloted the Jaeger, felt the pressure of the neural load, bearing it, driven by the pain and the horror, the shock of losing his co-pilot.

Working on the Wall.

Up there, on the top, where most deaths happened. Taking the most dangerous jobs to survive, though inside he felt dead.

He hadn't care anymore.

Chuck was there to watch it all and he understood.

There was despair not unlike his own when his mother had died, presumably killed by the Kaiju attack. Chuck, like Herc, had no idea if it was the truth. Both suspected she had died in the nuclear explosion.

Chuck knew the pain and anger and grief. He had felt it just as strongly. He had been there, had lost it all, had worked himself out of the pit, fought and won.

He had never been without his alpha, though. Raleigh had lost that when he was sixteen and hadn't been part of a pack for ten years.

Herc gave him stability. He wanted to trust in that, wanted to become part of the Hansen pack, and Chuck felt momentarily breathless how intense and personal those emotions were.

He felt the pull of the Drift and the bond, let it happen.

He hadn't Drifted in weeks, but it was as if he had never gotten off that horse. He felt the rush of another mind melding into his, saw flashes of memories, of emotions, felt the presence glide and whirl around him.

It was sensual.

Almost sexual.

It was a kind of intimacy that couldn't be achieved outside the neural bridge, except when mated. This was like the bond tenfold. Everything was so much more.

Raleigh's presence was there, enveloping him, touching him more deeply than any physical caress could, and he smiled.

"Hey," he murmured.

Raleigh's reply was a surge of emotions that had Chuck want to laugh with happiness.

Then he was right next to him.

With him.

Chuck's left side to Raleigh's right.

Belonging.

XOXO

Sasha and Aleksis stood outside the massive new Jaeger, eyes on the Conn-Pod above, nodding to each other.

Archangel's preparatory moves were fluid, smooth, in sync. Everything looked ready to go.

They had expected nothing else. Sasha nodded at her mate, feeling echoes from the pack bond.

::Strong:: he commented.

::As expected::

She pushed away from the safety rail and walked away. Aleksis followed.

Things were finally as they were supposed to be.

A new pack, a strong alpha, mated pairs. Sasha had felt the growing power of the pack with each passing months, had seen it in the Marshall's bearing, his expression. She had felt it in the closeness of those who weren't wolves.

Aleksis gave her a smile, her thoughts clear to him.

It was good. It was very, very good. They needed the strength. And they would follow the alpha; not the Marshall – the alpha.

XOXO

"Two pilots engaged in neural bridge."

Herc breathed a huge sigh of relief, even though he hadn't doubted for a moment that it would work. Soulmates were one hundred percent Drift compatible.

Tendo grinned as his fingers flew over his screen, checking read-outs and handling deployment for Archangel Omega.

"Whoever bet on that not happening just lost big time," he chuckled.

Herc snorted and looked at the Jaeger slowly being rolled toward the bay doors that were already open. Archangel was power up according to plan and from the way Mako was watching every little blip, it was running smoothly.

"Synchronized," the Jaeger A.I. announced neutrally. "Neural handshake complete. Bridge holding steady."

"Archangel Omega ready for deployment," Tendo announced. "Ready, guys?"

"Born ready," Chuck replied, sounding just this side of cocky.

Herc hid a smile as he reached for the mic. "Test run only, boys. Bring her back without a scratch, please."

"We'll take it easy," Raleigh promised.

And then the Jaeger dropped into the bay waters.

XOXO

She handled like a dream.

There had never been any doubt.

XOXO

A month later Triskelion Alpha was operational.

XOXO

Marshall Herc Hansen stood in the LOCCENT room, surveying the launch of both his Jaegers, smiling proudly.

Around him, the Shatterdome hummed with activity. They were by now the primary research station in the Pacific region. A third Jaeger would be coming in in a few months, too.

Things were truly getting busy, for all of them. Mako was in her element, redesigning Jaegers, preparing the bay for a third occupant, and reviewing potential pilots.

"Looking good," Tendo commented.

"Never had any doubt," he rumbled.

The Chief LOCCENT Officer smiled. "Yep."

Triskelion and Archangel would drop to the Breach, run their scans, bring back the data required. A dozen or more scientists were all over everything coming in from down there. Hermann Gottlieb was still the first person to view whatever they got and he decided what went where.

He had two good Jaeger teams. Senior pilots, experienced, in tune with each other, able to hold a Drift for hours without fail.

He had the best K-scientists. Maybe a bit unorthodox, maybe a bit too loud or too scathing with words, but no one could hold their own against those two. Two men who had Drifted with a Kaiju; one who had done it twice.

He had a pack. Three wolves, one of which was a triple changer, an African painted dog, a Non, a man with Shifter ancestry but unable to change, and Mako, whose aquatic alternate form was as beautiful as it was terrifying.

Herc had only seen her shift once. Stacker had been amazed to watch the fanned sea snake, insanely big, incredibly alien and still so normal, more of a creature of myth than reality.

Herc felt it, the connection to his son, his beta… betas. His pack, no matter what shape or size or genetic origin. It gave him strength.

"Keep an eye on them," he told Tendo.

"You know I will, boss."

Herc gave him a nod and left the LOCCENT, heading for the scheduled video conference with the PPDC.

Not his most favorite past-time, but it had to be done.

He was running the currently only operational Shatterdome. Efficiently, too.

He would make sure it would stay operational.

The world needed them. It needed to know everything there was about the Anteverse and the Kaijus. And they were the front line.

Mako joined him, tall and proud, a small smile on her lips as she saw his get-up. Herc had put on his dress uniform.

"Ready?" he asked.

"Yes, Marshall."

He grinned.

Ready to fight. Ready to win.

"Well, then let's get this show on the road."

XOXO

Several hundred miles away, thousands of feet underneath the surface of the ocean, two Jaegers sifted through the remains of their enemies, collecting samples, taking scans.

XOXO

They came back ten hours later, both pilots in high spirits. Exhausted, in dire need of a shower, but in a very good mood.

XOXO

The K-science lab was all over the samples they had in their cargo hold.

XOXO

Herc's debrief was short and to the point. Chuck and Raleigh were out of there and in the mess hall in a second.

Shifters could eat a lot. Two wolves could eat a lot more.

"Man, you are disgusting," Tendo laughed as he sat down with a mug of steaming hot coffee. "Hungry much?"

Chuck grinned around his mashed potatoes. "Almost taken care of." He started to dig into his chocolate pudding.

Tendo grimaced and met Raleigh's eyes. "And you're mated to that?"

Raleigh smiled. "Yep."

"There's no accounting for Nature's taste."

"Hey," Chuck growled.

"You learn to eat like a civilized person first," Tendo replied with a grin. He rose and walked off with his coffee.

::He's got a point:: Raleigh remarked lazily, sipping from his soda.

Chuck just glowered, but he scraped the last of his pudding out of the plastic cup and licked off his spoon.

"Nature," he proclaimed. "Wolf Shifter."

"C'mon, nature boy." Raleigh rose, carrying his tray over to the tray station.

"Anything specific on you mind?" Chuck asked slyly.

::Let's find out::

Ten hours in the Drift.

Chuck knew exactly what was on Raleigh's mind.

He grinned and followed his mate out the door.

XOXO

Ten hours in a Conn-Pod might be enough for Nons to fall into their beds, but the two wolves had gone for a run and ended up on a look-out point that showed them the Hong Kong bay as the sun rose.

It was a beautiful sight.

At the edge of the launch pad, a sole figure stood and watched the oceans.

Mako.

::Think she's gonna do it?:: Raleigh asked.

::She hasn't in too long:: Chuck glanced at him. ::You know?::

::We Drifted::

::Not a guarantee that you know what she is::

::Fanned sea snake. Mythological in the books. Ancient, extinct::

Chuck flicked an ear. ::Pentecost was astounded when he found out. She hid it from him::

::Her parents weren't happy about it::

::Nope::

Chuck had seen her twice in her alternate shape. Beautiful and lithe, looking deadly and still kind of serene, the dark blue scales perfectly hiding her within the waves of the ocean.

Some Shifters had this ability, this strange shape. Of a creature long since gone from this planet.

Raleigh nosed against Chuck's neck as they curled up together, resting his muzzle on the thick ruff.

Eyes at half mast, his thoughts drifted.

Away from Mako, who still stood where she was, gazing out over the ocean.

Away from today.

Back to six years ago. When Yancy was taken from him, when the last of his pack was torn from him.

Back to a year ago. When Pentecost had given him a chance to end his miserable life honorably.

When he had met his mate – and not even noticed it at first.

When he could have lost Chuck to Operation Pitfall, to death.

He wouldn't be here today. He doubted their alpha would be here today.

Chuck rumbled softly, twisting his head to glance at him.

::I'm here:: he simply said.

::I know::

::Not leaving::

::I hope not::

The ginger wolf butted his head against Raleigh's jaw. ::Not leaving::

And neither were the others.

Chuck head-butted him again and Raleigh licked over his face.

::Idiot:: the triple Shifter muttered.

::Yours::

They had both been given another chance. They had defied death, had overcome the difficulties of the bond, and they had made this work.

They had made the pack work. The stability was there, was felt by everyone associated with them.

The future could come.

XOXO

Out in the bay, Mako dived for the first time since her adopted father's death, letting her Shifter nature take over, letting the currents guide her.


End file.
